Randomness

It's time for another post, gals.  I felt the need to do an update, although there isn't tons going on.  I'm trying to get my life to be about more than my pregnancy.  After all, I DO have a life here, with kids and husband and such!

Right now, as we speak, Pennie is hopping around in my tummy.  She's quite the active little thing! My next sonogram is the 8th.  I think my tummy is now regular size.  I just don't feel super pregnant like I was and I don't look as huge as I was just two weeks ago.  I've been super, super tired again lately, like I was at the beginning of my pregnancy.  I mean, I could sleep all day!

We're doing pretty well here, emotionally.  I asked Sofia, who's 4, if she knew where Olivia was, and she thought for a moment and said, "She's in Heaven."  I asked her if she knew where Pennie was, and she said, "She's in there," pointing to my tummy.  I think she gets it, even in her little mind.  There aren't any strange emotional things going on around here, or any devastation.  We're just trying to get through this as a family, with the Lord, the best way we know how.

We're having a lazy Sunday afternoon today.  It's Dave's only day at home, and we enjoy it so much! The day seems to last forever, as we get to be with him and just breathe together as a family.  We seriously needed this day!

Most of the girls are in the office room playing Beauty Shop.  I let them use my straightening iron and my blow dryer, and they're loving it.  Hannah, who is 13, just doesn't like to do stuff like that.  She's laying on the couch with a stomach ache.  Russell is out in his trailer doing what boys do.

Dave and I are discussing our ballots.  I love it because he fills out both of our ballots and then gives me mine to sign.  I never have to worry about researching anything anymore, which is something I just hate!! It's so much easier on me.  I trust him implicitly!

Tomorrow is another day.  Right now, I just don't want to go anywhere.  I'm getting a lot of questions like "how far along are you?" and "do you know what you're having? and "when are you due?"  I crave the familiarity of home and my family.  Tomorrow is another day when Dave goes back to work.  I know the strength of the Lord is going before me and I am glad for that!

I hope today never ends!!

Dear Father.....

Dear Father,

I just wanted You to know that I'm standing here, on this Road of Grief, again, and I decided that I can't walk another step down this Road.  I don't want to! I can't! Please, do not make me go here again. Please, I want to turn around! Please God, get me off of this Road.  I know where it leads! It's anguish! It's pain! It's months of tears and sadness! Please God, I can't! I can't do this again!!

Lord, it is so dark on this Road! It is so cold.  I am so lonely.  There is fear down this Road.  There are questions.  There are things that I can't see.  The fog snakes around my feet and curls up my legs, trying to find its way into my soul.  Please, is this a dream? Please take me away from here!

My Abba, do you hear me? Can you hear my soul shrieking in agony? Can you see me take deep breaths to push down the hysterical sobs that rise from the depths of my being? WHY do I have to visit this place again? WHY? Why do I find myself trying to hold the mask of normalcy onto my face so that it doesn't slip and scare everyone with what's really there? WHY???

My God, I just want to wake up tomorrow morning and find that this has all been a terrible nightmare.  I just want time to rewind, back to two weeks ago, when my Babies were healthy and happy.  I crave that! Please, please, help me here on this Road that You, in your faithfulness, have chosen again for me!

Emmanuel, You decided that we should have twins. We would have been so grateful for just one, but You took that one egg, days after conception, and decided to split it in two, forming my Babies, all the while, knowing that one of them would not get to be ours.  WHY? Oh God, dear Father, you gave us the deepest desire of our hearts and then, took it away.  Lord, please, let this cup pass from me! My spirit quakes within me with fear! My very marrow is washed with deep agony! Do You see??

It is the fondest wish of my being to not walk this Road of Grief again.  Lord, I am well acquainted with this place! I know what it's like here! WHY do I have to do this again?

Lord, I see that You cannot, in your sovereignty, remove me from this path. I will work on accepting my lot.  Father,  please give me what I need to have a firm step and a steady eye as I walk down this Road.  May I walk so as to glorify You each step.

And Lord, may I feel You here, because my mind knows that You are here, but my heart suddenly can't see or feel You.  Balm of Gilead, annoint my head with the oil of peace in the midst of these rising winds.  Lord, though I can't see Your hand, I will close my eyes and see it from memory of all the times when You have met me and pulled me up out of the ditch on the side of the Road.  Would You please hold me? Yes, hold me.  Still my shaking.  Lord, I believe deep down that this Road will yield good and blessing and joy......somewhere, some day.

I just wanted You to know what I'm thinking, Lord.  Blessed be the Name of the Lord forever.  Amen.

Update

Hey there, everyone! I'm back, after an extremely exhausting day!!! I JUST got home!

Here's the news: Pennie is looking absolutely wonderful.  She has a good looking brain.  Her cord is 3-artery, which is very important.  Her bladder is working and looks normal.  Her tummy is looking good.  She was a real jumping bean! She moved and kicked and turned allll throughout the scan.  My fluid levels are great.  The doctor actually said that pre-term labor is almost not a possibility! He expects her to actually be normal sized.  That means she'll probably be at least 8 lbs.  Most of my babies are around at least 8 lbs.  She's actually measuring bigger for her age! Doctor fully expects her to be born perfectly healthy.

I'm learning to be joyful about Pennie.  Don't get me wrong!!! I LOVE HER!!! I ADORE HER......but it's a unique place I'm in right now, between grief and joy.  I really want joy to win! After all, as I've said before, all is not lost!

I really want to labor and deliver at my hometown hospital! Realllly bad! Because everything, and every one, is so familiar to me.  I know all of the nurses.  I recognize the rooms.  My dear doctor is there.  I dearly want this to happen! I crave familiarity.  To me, familiarity is comfort.  And I desire comfort right now.

So, that's another prayer request! I hope you all aren't getting tired of me shooting prayer requests your way.

On another note: I'm glad you guys liked Emily's photos.  I'm sure going to have a hard time picking out one for my wall.  I know I'm getting a big one, a canvas.  But which one to choose?? That's the question.  Those of you who read Emily's blog ought to leave her a comment telling her how much you like the pics.  And if you don't read her blog, DO!!

Okay, time to be with my Husband and kids, who missed me very much today, as I missed them!

Take care! MWAH!

Pray

Just a quick note, then we're on our way South.

Pennie's be-bopping around in there.  She seems strong and happy, to me.

My ultrasound is at 1:30, Pacific time, for all of you who may be following my blog in other time zones
(Thank God you are following me!!)

I was very, very nervous last night.  Very edgy.

This morning, no nervousness at all.  I was even able to feel extreme joy as I got into the shower this morning.  It's only the Lord.  And it's only because of the many prayers that are going up on my behalf, and on Pennie's behalf.  There's no way to express my gratitude, except to pray for you back!!

I'll update the blog later on this afternoon.

And one more thing: My maternity photo shoot pics are up on Emily's website.  Go here http://www.emilyannephotography.com/Woodland_Washington/Home.html, then go to Gallery.  Click on "Portraits", then refresh the page and that's me.  And The Babies.  Emily is a gifted photographer.  Let me know which one is your favorite!

Talk to you later on! MWAH!

Humbled

I want to say, to that Anonymous Commenter, and you do know who you are, that you have Humbled me and blessed me beyond words.

I checked on my post yesterday, about the Necklace, and saw that there were some comments, so I read them.  The second comment puzzled me! It was anonymous.  At first I thought it was spam! I had gotten one other comment recently that was crazy and made no sense, so I deleted it.  But I read this one twice.  Then a third time, still puzzled.  I decided to do what the commenter said, so I checked my email.

What I found there caused me to immediately burst into hysterical tears, with my apron literally thrown over my face.  Loud tears! Messy, snotty tears.  Gasping, wrenching sobs.

Because Anonymous Commenter had left me a gift certificate for The Vintage Pearl.

So, I want Anonymous to know that I will have my necklace in a matter of weeks.

I still can't believe it.  At one of my very lowest points in my entire life, the Body of Christ comes through.

I don't know who you are, Anonymous, and I don't need to know.  God knows.  I pray for you, that God will heap you with blessing overflowing, for ministering to me in such a deep and elemental way.

I will post a picture of My Necklace as soon as it gets here.  Since it is a custom creation, it will take a bit of time.

I can wait.

If I could write a book of my life now, the title of my book would be.....

Learning To Breathe Again.


And, on another note:

PENNIE'S AWAKE AND DANCING AROUND IN THERE!!


I'll update on her tomorrow night.

Till then, have a great Sunday!

Memory Necklace

I've wanted a special piece of jewelry to wear every day, sacred to the memory of Janie.  I've been searching for about 5 years now.  I've searched everywhere, in every price range.

Now, I want to add Olivia too.

I really want a necklace with charms on it.

I've been looking at http://www.thevintagepearl.com, and  http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/.  I also looked at Julie the Fish online, but I couldn't get the link to work.

I want two charms, dime sized, and a bit beat up, with a pearl too.  Only I can't decide! I can't decide if I want two flowers, two hearts, two circles....and I don't know if the money is there to do this thing.

That's really the thing that has held me back so far.

We're trying to purchase a 15 seater van for cash, instead of going into debt for it.  We dearly need a vehicle like that.  Right now, we can't go anywhere together unless we borrow some friends' van, and we have to drive with Lucie's car seat in between the front seats in that van.  After we found out we were having twins, the van became the priority.

So, we're trying to hold off on all other purchases until we save up the $7000.00 we need for the van.

I was thinking about trying to sell some stuff on eBay to get the money for this elusive necklace that I crave.  I know people do that to make money.  I think it's a good idea and a good way for moms to make extra money while staying home.

The ultrasound tech who does my ultrasounds at my peri's clinic, Kyrsten, wears a necklace like that.  It's silver, on a short chain, really small charm, with her initial on it.  I always look at it when I'm on the table.  It's really simple and pretty.

I guess this has been on my mind for quite a few months now.  I looked at a company that does footprints and handprints on charms.  You send them the footprints of your baby and they shrink the print down and somehow put it on a charm.  That was really spendy and I wouldn't trust Janie's footprints to just anyone!

I want to just go online to one of the sites I linked to, choose a necklace, and buy it right NOW, even without my husband's okay!

I'm just musing here, people.  Just opening up my mind and letting you see what's swirling around in there.

I have another necklace that I love.  It's silver, long, and has a large heart and a small heart and a couple of other charms on it.  I got it at the shoe store.  I never buy jewelry! But this necklace caught my eye.  We were trying to get pregnant again after Lucie and we just weren't and this necklace just had to be mine.  I wore it the day I saw our baby (babies) for the first time at 7 weeks.  I wore it when I heard a heartbeat for the first time.  I wore it in my photo shoot with Emily.  It's special to me.....

But I want a smaller necklace to wear every day.  With initials of Janie (JRG) and Olivia (OCG).

Okay, so I'll keep you updated on the progress of getting this necklace and show pictures if I do get it.

*******************************************************************************

PS: The day after tomorrow I will have another ultrasound.  This is an anatomical study on Pennie.  It will tell us how healthy she is and how she's growing, and if she's having any issues from losing Olivia. I'm trying not to think about it.  I'm not as excited for this ultrasound as I was with the others.  I'm trying not to be nervous.  So far, she has looked very healthy, but so did Olivia.......PRAY FOR ME AND PENNIE!!!

Taking a Breath

Okay.

First, let me say I'm totally BLESSED by all of your comments! I mean, people I don't even know have made me feel so loved and so watched over! Thank you, Devin, for rallying your friends on my behalf, and on Pennie's behalf.  I've never felt so well taken care of.  I'd like to respond to everyone who commented personally, but I don't know if that's in me right now......But I want every single one of you to know that I will treasure your comments forever.

So, it's The Aftermath.  I've been able to regroup a bit, to Take a Breath.

How am I doing?

What am I thinking?

I can try to answer those questions here, briefly.  I'm not sure how many words I have, right now.

I will say that the shattered, broken pieces of us that had fallen on the ground and all over are being refitted into another picture.  I can't see the whole picture yet, but I'm accepting this New Reality that God obviously has for us.  I feel less broken, most moments.  I feel more broken, some moments! How's that for contradiction? Seriously, I don't know what the next days, or weeks, or months, are going to look like.  But God only makes Beauty.  It may be tragic Beauty.  It may be devastating Beauty.  But in the end, it's Beauty to Him if one can glorify and honor His name in the midst of shattered, broken pieces.

I so dearly want to do that! I want everyone who looks at me, right now, to see God's faithfulness.  I want them to see His light shining out of me.....I want to be a living incense to Him! I don't know how to do that.  But I will just keep praising Him and thanking Him and talking to Him, even when I don't feel like it.  It's all I know how to do, in this New Reality.

So far, Pennie seems to be doing well.  She feels like she's getting stronger in there.  She's still kicking and spinning and moving around.  Believe me, I am intensely aware of every tiny bubble from her!

I can say that I'm glad I trusted my instincts and went in to the doctor.  My regular OB sent me straight down to my peri's office to have an ultrasound.  I'm glad I went.  I'm glad I didn't just write my feelings off as paranoid or silly.  My instincts were right on.  I just had a feeling, after Olivia hadn't moved for an hour or so, that she was gone.  She was the active, VERY active one.  So, even though I had to hear very sad news, I'm still glad I went.

What will happen now? Well, I'll carry both babies till Pennie is ready to be born.  Nobody knows when that will be.  We're all hoping that it's nice and long and that Pennie stays in there and cooks up healthy.

I'm going in for what's called an anatomic study, which was supposed to be on both babies, on Monday. It's standard at my peri's office.  It's a long ultrasound in which they take measurements of everything and look at all organ systems and things like that, essentially to see if the Baby is healthy and developing normally.  It's even more important to have this done on Pennie right now, in light of Olivia's death, to get a read on how she's doing.  Many twins, upon the death of one twin, go on to be born healthy and happy.  So that's what we're looking for, a healthy remaining Twin.

I'll tell you, we were just starting to come out of the stunned and surprised fog of hearing we were having twins to being really, REALLY excited and starting to work on getting things ready for their arrival.  It's only been less than three weeks ago that I laid in that room and got the most wonderful, most flabbergasting news of my life.  What a roller coaster these past weeks have been.

I never liked roller coasters.  I still don't.

You know what, though? Yes, I'm walking this road again.  Yes, I will have a stillborn baby.  BUT!

I've not lost everything, as I did with Janie.

I won't have empty arms! God willing.  There are TWO babies in there and I'm going to do everything within my power to make sure that we come home with one baby!

I'm still the mother of Twins.  I'm still a Multiple Mom.  Olivia has not vanished.

Another interesting and strangely comforting thought that I didn't get to have with Janie is that Pennie is the mirror image of Olivia, so, we will never wonder what Olivia would have looked like! We will always know, when we look at Pennie.  Whenever I wonder, all I have to do is look at Pennie.  A bittersweet musing, but one that I hope will bring great solace in the months to come.

I guess that's it, in a sort-of nutshell! You guys know I'm just not a nutshell girl!

I do have a couple of prayer requests.

I struggle the most at night.  My mind won't stop turning.  I dearly, deeply desire sweet, peaceful sleep.  I NEED peaceful sleep, for my health, but most of all for Pennie's health.  Please pray for peace and serenity at night for me.  I do not want to take sleeping pills.  Besides, I know God can do this for me!!

PLEASE PRAY FOR PENNIE! I don't know what God's will is for her, but I know I want her desperately now.  Pray that she will thrive.  Pray that she will grow.  Pray that she will stay in there till her appointed time to be born.

Please pray for my appetite.  My calorie intake is severely lacking; in fact, I don't even think I'm getting enough calories for myself, let alone Pennie.  I want her to be healthy and plump and have everything she needs in there, but I have to get extra calories.  It's much more important now.  I must eat but don't really feel like eating.  So Pray for my appetite!

And please, pray for labor and delivery.  I desire a peaceful labor and a joyful delivery.  I know God can, because every single labor and delivery I've had, even Janie's, has been easy and peaceful.  Please pray for a minimum of bleeding and a quick delivery.

I guess that's about it.  Again, I'm so blessed by all of you.  I'm so humbled that you all, even if you don't know me,  have come together to bless my family with the benediction of your prayers and thoughts and offers of help.  Even on Facebook, people that I don't even know have been praying.

Now, DON'T STOP! PRESS IN! REDOUBLE YOUR EFFORTS!

And God bless, abundantly, overflowingly, each one of you!

Olivia Caroline Gilchrist

Olivia Caroline Gilchrist is safe in the arms of Jesus.  The Father called her name two days ago and she answered.

She will not be joining us to live her life with our family.

We are utterly broken.

We appreciate your prayers for us, as we will have to carry her until Pennie is ready to be born.

Pray for strength for Pennie!

Pray for joy and strength for me, and for my body to be as healthy as it can be for Pennie.

I appreciate all of you who are praying.  Thank you so much.

Please Pray

Gals, I need you to pray for me and The Babies.

Pennie has been very active today, all day, and it's unusual because she's usually the quiet one.  She's Baby A and she's usually shy and quiet.

The thing is, I haven't felt Olivia, Baby B, move today.  I think I felt one kick earlier this morning, but she hasn't moved once since then.

Needless to say, I'm very, very worried.  But I don't want to be! I don't want to freak out and call the doctor over nothing.  As the night goes on, I'm getting more and more worried and fearful that something is wrong with Olivia.

So, would you please pray for us? I want These Babies so so soooooo badly.  Olivia was active and happy and waving to the camera just last week......

Lord, Help! I don't want to go down this road of fear and worry and anxiety over everything!

Thanks for your prayers!

A Few Thoughts

The photo shoot was sooooo fun!! Emily is a great photographer, and she really knows how to put a person at ease! But the best thing about it is, she KNOWS me.  We go way back.  She knew how to capture the real ME, and not silly, contrived posing that was fake and not me.  She's working on editing and stuff now, and I can't wait to see the proofs.  Let me tell you, if you live locally, you really must pick Emily as your photographer!

Right now, Pennie is awake and I can feel her little hands poking me.  Olivia seems to be pretty sleepy lately.  It used to be just the opposite, with Pennie sleeping and Olivia awake the most.  I get to see them again next Monday, when they will do an anatomical study on both Babies, measuring everything and studying every organ to make sure everything's a go for each Baby.  These always, always make me nervous, but my ultrasound tech, Kiersten, is the very, very best.  She's sweet and fun, but best of all, she's a Twin Mom too, and that means she's been where I am and it makes me feel less alone.  So far, from everything they've been able to see, The Babies look good and healthy! I'll update Monday.

I'm excited to report that a Baby Shower is apparently going to become reality on November 6th! I can't believe it! Two awesome friends decided they wanted to bless our family and get all of our friends together to celebrate The Babies.  I'm just so excited! The best part is, my girls are invited and they get to help bake and cook and decorate and plan! So, I over-invited, just because I want so much to share the joy and happiness of The Babies with alllllll of our many friends.  I registered at Target, and that was kinda weird, since the last shower I had was for Sofia, over 5 years ago, and I didn't register with her, since I didn't know the church we were going to at the time was going to have a shower for us till the very last minute.  Registering for The Babies really made me aware of how much we really need for them!! If you're local and want to come for some awesome food and awesome fellowship, contact me via email and I'll give you all the details!

My husband and I went to a Gaither concert Friday night with my folks.  We've been to 3 or 4 concerts, and I have to say, this one was the best.  Our favorite groups, the Martins and the Isaacs, were there and wow, it was just a great night of the most sublime, extreme talent! To think, years ago, when my folks were wanting us to watch a Gaither video, I wouldn't because I just KNEW it was going to be old fogey music!! Ha.  It was a great night, but a loooooong night! We got back at almost 2 in the morning, and for this very pregnant lady, that was just toooo late! I had a Gaither hangover the next day!!!

And boy, do I have some sort of hangover today! We had a bit of a late night last night too, and I am sooo tired today! I plan on being lazy today!! And, I have a wonderful cold, which is enhanced, or maybe I should say aggravated, by being pregnant! Ugh.  Chapped lips and dry skin to boot!! So, rest is on the agenda for me today.  It's so beautiful outside today, and I have a great view!!

Take care and I'll be posting again soon!

The Lord Spoke

I really haven't shared a lot of the story of our baby, Janie Rose, who was stillborn on May 13, 2004, when I was almost 7 months pregnant.  And I haven't shared a lot about our three miscarried babies.  I always want to, but I always figure it's all old news, forget about it....

But grief and loss leave an indelible impression.  I traveled in a season of grief and loss for many, many years.  It was my lifestyle and, the unintentional result of allowing myself to live in that Shadowland for so long is that my heart has been shying away from joy and celebration.  Grief and loss were a long, cold, lonely season in which I felt obligated to dwell, for fear of  forgetting.

Like a soft piece of wood gouged and nicked deep into the grain, it takes much sanding, much planing, to remove those marks.

My fear of  forgetting caused me to feel completely unable to accept blessing of any kind.  I felt undeserving of deep happiness.  Mourning became who I was and I, in my broken down state,  believed that that was to be my lot in life.  I assumed the mantle of unworthiness like a heavy, old, musty wool coat, moth eaten and dirty.  It just became a part of my wardrobe that I put on every day, for a very long time.

Yet, in the midst of my struggle, I counseled others! Oh yes, I was famous for telling other ladies who were suffering of the joys that Christ offers and how He graciously sets free....and all the while, I couldn't take my own advice!! All the while, I was stifled under a self-imposed exile from all that was good!  Those words were meant for others.  In my shattered mind, Christ meant my counsel for others, never for me!

I have to tell you that it all became so cumbersome! The heavy, hot coat I wore began to choke me and I began to sweat, with no thought to the tightly clasped buttons running down the front, just waiting to be undone.

Looking back over my Journey, I see that the counsel that I so freely gave away to others........was truly meant for me.  God was calling ME to listen to myself!! There was freedom in those words, if only I could have stored up the tiny gems of wisdom for myself!

Alas, we are all on a Journey.  Our Journeys take us to different places, through different geography, at different times and paces.  Yes, we all may be on different voyages, but we're all being drawn to the same Place.....Freedom.

Now, this new season, I've come to a major fork in my road.  I can take the road I've been on and travel as I have been.....
OR
I can turn down the other path.....to Freedom.

The Lord has set before me a choice this day.  Believe it or not, this choice is very, very hard for me! It means leaving everything that's been familiar to me for the last 7 years and embracing the unknown.

But....
There is One Who beckons to me! He's already there, patiently waiting, with tender gaze and unfathomable love on His face.
The other day, He spoke to me.  My Beloved spoke, and He said to me:

"Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.
For lo, the winter is past.
The rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth.
The time for singing has come!
And the voice of the turtledove is heard
in our land.
The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
and the vines with the tender grapes
give a good smell!
Rise up my love, my fair one and come away!"

This is a pretty well known Scripture passage, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I heard His voice! His healing literally poured through my spirit and heart! It was the warm and joyful Balm of Gilead! He told me that it was okay to rejoice over Pennie and Olivia. He said that grief and sadness and hardness was not what He wanted for me anymore.  He told me it was safe to go on in this new season, that I wouldn't forget our other babies, because He doesn't forget.

Oh Lord, help me to rejoice with abandon!
Father, be the strength which undergirds my voice.
Jesus, hold up my arms and still the trembling.
May I sing the song of my heart with confidence and laughter!!!


Ah, the sun feels good on my face!

Still Here!

It's been too long since I posted! I wanted you guys to know I'm still here!!

Just for the fun of it, I want to do a little update on The Pregnancy of a Lifetime!

The problem is, until Tuesday, some of my stats will be missing!! But I think I'll do another update on Tuesday evening, after my second ultrasound and after my Big Babies Bump Photo Shoot!!!

Yes, I'm having my First Ever Pregnancy Photo Shoot!! I'll tell you more about it after it happens!

For now, I'll tell you what's been up the past week or so:

I'm craving peanut butter.  And lasagne.  (NOT together! What, you guys think I'm PREGNANT or something?? HA!) Like crazy!! I think it's always fun to see, with each pregnancy, the different cravings I have.  Early on, I craved Frank's Red Hot Buffalo Wing Sauce like crazy.  And cucumbers.  Right now loaded salads also sound good. And coconut pineapple drinks, like a virgin Pina Colada.  And mustard on potatoes.  And Omelettes!  Something weird that's happening the last week is that I know I really, really need tons of calories for The Babies and myself right now, and food sounds good, but as soon as I put it in my mouth, I don't want to eat it! So I'm struggling with getting enough calories every day.  I'll have to remedy that, as I want The Babies to be as yummy and plump as petit chocolat pots du creme!! I know, I know, aren't I such a linguist??!!

The nausea has returned this week.  Ugh.  And the fatigue.  Maybe The Babies are having a growth spurt?? I read lots of info that said that multiples have their big growth spurt in the second trimester, whereas singles have their big growth spurt in the last month or so.  That's probably the reason for the nausea and fatigue coming back.  I say, GO AWAY!!

On Tuesday, the day of my next appointment with my peri, I'll be officially 5 months pregnant! Halfway there, I can't believe it.

Today I'm pretty crampy.  I have things to do but I'm trying to obey my body and stay off my feet as much as my body needs to.  The trouble with that is, I also struggle with laziness! It's the bain of my existence! And I'll tell you, there IS a fine line between resting and laziness, so I try to stay far away from that line but it's so so SO hard for me not to cater to my slothful side!!

The past almost-two-weeks The Babies have gotten SO much stronger! Especially this week, for sure! I feel all sorts of popping, somersaults, and flutterings from all over my tummy! It's one of the fun things about having multiples, in that you feel lots of movement from different places all at once! The Babies are having LOTS more awake time in there!

I'm having ACNE!!! This girl has never, ever struggled with acne hardly a day in her life! And I'm getting it in the most bizarre places! Tiny, pin pricks of red dots that itch and have a teeny white head! My nose looks like Rudolph!!!

I have NO idea how much weight I've gained.  I know how much I'm supposed to gain, according to the whole entire internet AND my peri! I'm not kidding, when I was making my next appointment two weeks ago at my peri's office, I spotted The Scale in the hallway, and ladies, this in no ordinary scale! The thing looks like a treadmill on steroids!! I've never seen anything like it.  It isn't your typical Doctor's scale with the sliding weight measurer, oh no, this Bad Boy is digital!! And I have to step on it for the first time on Tuesday!! Truthfully though, I really don't think I've gained any weight since my 16 week (4 mth) check up at my regular OB's.  Hopefully I don't get into too much trouble.  I'm really just saying to-heck-with the recommended weight gain for multiples and going with what my body says.  I don't want to be The Pillsbury Dough Girl when The Babies are born!!

I've discovered that I LOVE me some Maxi dresses!! I was sooooo scared of Maxi dresses! I thought for sure that Curvy Gals like me couldn't pull one off.....but I looked online at Motherhood Maternity, and read all the reviews.  I bought myself two really cheap ones, a long one and a short one, and ohhhh, it was love at first wear!!! I pop a cardigan over the dress and I'm good to go! And I can wear them Post Babies too!!!


I've been looking at double strollers and car seats.  I've settled on a stroller and car seat brand and pattern.  My husband won't let me buy them until we get our van in a few weeks, and truthfully, I have NO IDEA how the money will come in for everything we need!!! The Diaper Budget alone will equal twice the National Debt!! Nevertheless, I have toyed with the idea of putting together a registry....but don't want to seem greedy or grasping or anything!! What would ya'll do if you were having child #8 AND #9 at once??? Here's a picture of my stroller:

It's a Graco brand Duo stroller, and the pattern, though you can't see it real well, is called Milan, and it's blue and brown circles all over the fabric.   The rating on this stroller is 4-5 stars!!! Here are the car seats:

I really love this pattern and the blue and brown combo! But it'll be a MINT to get two car seats and the stroller.  

I'm trying to drink lots of water.  

I'm super incredibly HOT lately!! I MUST have all windows open at all times!

Okay, I think that's long enough for a quick update!! I'll post more Tuesday evening! And now I'm off to make some lasagne!! Have a great Sunday evening! MWAH!

Open House

Okay, I've seen these open house posts on some of my bloggy friends' blogs, and in an effort to see if I can think of anything else right now than The Babies, I'm going to post my own open house!!

I'm wearing........black skirt, black long sleeved shirt and my trusty apron!

I'm listening to..........Daddy listening to the score from Lonesome Dove as he sorts through files on his computer, and Kellie and Sara playing Sweet Streets houses with Polly Pockets, Lincoln Logs, and Duplo people! Sofia's playing too, and it's a riot!

I'm looking forward to......... a Gaither Homecoming concert in two weeks, and Jan Karon's new book coming out this month! YAY! So excited!!

I'm smelling........two kinds of chicken cooking in the kitchen: Buttery Lemon Dill Chicken in the oven and Cranberry Mustard Chicken in the crock pot for tomorrow.  Mmmmmm!

Outside my window.........it is overcast and thankfully, not hot and not humid either! We've had a spate of the most humid days I've ever seen since moving to Washington almost 25 years ago!

I'm reading.........Nothing of note right now, but I just finished Jan Karon's Mitford Bedside Companion.

I'm creating.........nothing right now!

I'm praying for.......My dad's friend of more than 50 years who was seriously injured a few weeks ago, my mom's coffee stand to sell, and most importantly, all of the couples we know very personally whose marriages are failing or rocky.  Do you know anyone whose marriage is failing? Pray for them!!  And is your marriage rocky? Don't let it be! Build up your house with your hands!!

I'm thankful for.......God's love.  His mercy.  His favor.  Period.

Now it's your turn!!