Today, Christmas Eve Day, I find myself pondering things.
I wonder, what would have happened, so long ago in that Garden of Gethsemane, as Christ Jesus grappled with His Father...... What would have happened if He had said that day....
"No thanks, Dad, I don't think I'll do it. Those people aren't worth it and I just don't have time to die for them. It's too hard".
What would have happened?
The ramifications of this thought are too dire and too depressing for me to entertain.
And so....on this day before Christmas, as a silent and peaceful waiting fills my heart, I want to thank You, Jesus, for that willingness to take hold of the Father's plan for You. Thank You for embracing the Father's very difficult and very scary will for You. I pray that I would have that strength to follow Your example and not shirk Your will for me in my fear and mistrust of Your perfect plan.
Today I am so grateful that Jesus, the Christ, the Son of God, the very Word become Flesh, died that cruel, intense, painfully humiliating death, the death of common criminals, just for me.
I'm filled with such joy and such sadness when I wonder if, when He was born to Mary in that stable, did He know? Did He know when He was young that He would be called on to suffer such a grisly and unbearable fate?
I think He did. After all, He was God, in flesh...."veiled in flesh, the Godhead see! Hail the incarnate diety!"
I think He knew. With crystal clear clarity.
And He came anyway.
Do you know this Christ of Whom I speak? If you do not...
Seek Him! Find Him! He waits for you.....He was born for you and He died for you!
This is a slice of what my life feels like right now. For all of you readers out there who've been wondering what my brain looks like, here's a visual for you. Daughter #6, who happens to be three right now, was having a great time that day. She loves to do crazy things like this and talk to them and rearrange them....
It made me smile. The sight of this odd jumble of Polly Pockets, animals, and the angel from our Play Mobile Nativity set, seen here without the hair and halo, gave me a great big belly laugh.
I see the joy in this jar. I see the chaos. I bet that cat is NOT liking the mix. I think Barbecue Man, down on the bottom, is having a hard time breathing.
And that, my friends, is how I feel, by turns, these days. Joyful. Chaotic. BEWILDERED. STUCK. Learning in the midst of it all.
I thought it would be fun to do an update on Lucie, something I've never really done before.
I had in my mind, when I was pregnant with her, to keep you all posted about how things were going and then, after she was born, I would be all cute and relevant and post regular, monthly updates about how she was doing and what she was doing and how cute and adorable she was. I love to read updates like that on the blogs that I read! And well, after I started posting more regularly again....I stopped posting regularly again!
I am making an effort to remedy that. I want to post every day and include pictures, which I am determined to have interspersed through my posts, like my favorite bloggers do.
So, here's a Lucie update post!
Lucie is 10 months old now. I know, I can't believe it either! to me, the time since she was born has flown a lot quicker than it has with any of my other children. It seems as I get older, time's wings get swifter. I don't like it at all!
Where to start? She really has blossomed this month. She has four teeth, two on the top and two on the bottom, and yes, her smile is the most adorable thing, especially when she wrinkles up her little noses and squints her eyes! Exactly like this picture below!
She looooooves, I mean Loves her sisters big time. She never wants for people to hold her. All she has to do is bat her little eyelashes and at least three little mommies come running to hold her!
She weighs about 18 or so pounds and is about 29 inches long, I think. I think she's small for her age, compared to other babies we know who are around her age (not that I'm into comparing or anything). We hardly ever take our kids to the doctor, so I'm not real sure on those stats, but that's what she feels and looks like to me.
She is wearing a size 3 diaper right now, although I was forced, when I went to my local Safeway, to get her a size 4 in a brand that I did NOT want to buy, since they were 6 dollars more than the Fred Meyer diapers I usually buy! But, beggars can't be choosers, and it was 9 o'clock at night when I discovered that we were out of diapers and so, I had to buy them. I hate them and will never use them again, if I can help it. I bet you're dying to know what brand they were, huh? Well, they were Pampers. Yuck!
She hasn't started crawling yet. Wait. What I mean is, she hasn't started crawling in the conventional way yet.......but she does do "The Baby Frog" scoot, as I like to call it. She will dig her big toes into the floor and pull herself around by her arms, while on her tummy. It is sooo cute! She looks just like a frog swimming!
If we stand her up against the couch, she cruises along it one way, but she won't come back! If I'm sitting at one end and I stand her up next to me, she'll cruise to the other end of the couch, alllll the way to the end, then she'll look at me as if to say "What now?" It's the funniest thing!
She's eating lots of foods now and is really good at putting stuff in her mouth! She's a human vacuum cleaner! She loves cooked carrots, green beans, noodles, fried potatoes, bananas, peaches, avocados, yogurt, chicken, stew meat...and lots of other stuff too! She will not let me put mashed potatoes or rice of any kind in her mouth. She won't eat baby food peaches either.
She takes two naps or so a day. Her morning nap is her longest and I'm blessed that she sleeps for 3 to 4 hours. She'll take another nap around 4 or 5 and sleep for about 2 hours.
She is still nursing regularly, about four times a day or so.
She sleeps through the night most nights. She goes down at about 10 and most nights she sleeps till 4:30 am, then she'll go back to sleep till around 9. A couple of nights she may wake up at 2:30 and that's when I struggle to be a true Christian!!
She has the bluest eyes I've seen!
She's wearing 12-18 mth clothes, although they're a bit big on her right now, but she has grow room!
She is very, very attached to Mama. She follows me with her eyes whenever I put her down and walk away or around the room. Now that she's mobile, she can find me and that's so happy for her! I've never had a baby who's so attached to me. It's fulfilling and disconcerting at the same time!
I think that's it. I love her so much. She fills our lives in ways I never imagined she would. Everyone loves her around here. All of the girls are getting really good "babysitting" experience while I do the things I need to do each day.