Thursday, October 24, 2013

63

63 Days!!!

That sure doesn't seem like a very long time to me......

And I feel that it's going faster and faster each day.  Isn't that the way of pregnancy though? At first it seems to go so slowly.....but then, as the pregnancy progresses and Baby gets bigger, the days seem to pick up a bit of speed, until the third trimester, and then everything just spirals out of control!

I was talking to my perinatologist and giving him an analogy on how fast the last trimester is going for me and he said.....

"Yep, you can't put the brakes on this one!"

It's sobering.

You know, I don't know about you, if you've experienced pregnancy or childbirth, but for those of you reading this post who have, I wonder if, as soon as you get pregnant, you begin to fear labor and delivery.  Is this just me? Or is this a universal fear? I'd be interested to know because way back in March, as soon as that little test stick came up with two pink lines, labor and delivery were the first things that obsessed my mind.  I'd find myself thinking about it during the day.  I'd have sudden rushes of sweaty, gripping terror! I'd go to bed thinking about it. In the second trimester these feelings abated a bit.....but.....

Now, with about 63 days, or 9 weeks, until Baby Boy makes his debut, I find myself praying daily, sometimes every few minutes, for courage and bravery.  I pray to be able to just get through.  I pray for strength for my body.

Something you ought to know about me is that my labors and deliveries are not like the numerous and countless birth stories I've read.  I hesitate to say it, but my labors and deliveries are ridiculously easy.  My body was made for having babies.  That doesn't mean there's no pain and,after two hours, dressed in my best dress and pearls, I sashay out to front porch and, lo and behold, there's a baby in a basket, all cozily wrapped in a warm and charming blanket.  No, not quite.  But my labors and deliveries don't last long and are not excruciatingly painful.  I don't talk a lot about it because I don't want to be hated in the Mama Community.....but it's a fact.

Still.

That irrational fear comes upon me.  Every. SINGLE. TIME.

So.

With 9 weeks left, I'm praying that I'll be brave.  I'm praying that I can labor and deliver with peace.  I guess that's the biggest thing I'm asking for.  I want to be blanketed, infused, surrounded with the Lord's peace.  

My husband always marvels at my fear in this area.  He's been with me through every single delivery of every single child we've had, and even delivered two of our girls himself, and he always marvels at how easy and quick it is for me.  

Still.

If you are familiar with this silly labor/delivery fear, please pray for me.  And for Baby Boy.  My babies usually deliver themselves.  Just pray. I want Christ to conquer this fear in me and I want Him to shine, even through labor and delivery,  through how ever much  pain and intensity there will be this time.

Thanks.

4 comments:

A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

Fear is a very stange thing...As I worry about silly things and big things never faze me...I was exactly 63 days til my due date and had finally packed my bag and done bubs things and was looking forward to some lazy days ahead (as best you can with four kids) and a mere 6 hours later I was in hospital with broken waters and expected to sit for two weeks in bed rest in there on steroids...So afterall I would get that rest,Nope 11 hours later my tiny prem was born1 So things can get crazy but as women we must just go wth it...That very same prem who never came home till his 2 month anniversary is now a blonde 2.5 year old sitting here now beside me asking me to kiss a ouchie on his hand! xo all the best,we are willing you along

Rebeca said...

So glad things are going well! The labor panic always hits me in the third trimester.... oh, no.... I have to go through labor! What was I thinking? :>

Susie White said...

I can relate! Other than my first birth, all mine have been quite easy and quick. The only time I experience fear is riiiight before I am crowning. I go completely bonkers. With my #4 I was literally climbing up my husband, trying to get away. I always scream for help and cuss up a storm. I look and behave like a wild animal. But, as soon as the baby starts to come out, I'm good.

Anonymous said...

Do you get an epidural? My first baby was all natural and I said that I would never do it again without medication. The next 3 I got an epidural and those were my best deliveries. Pain free and those babies came in less than 2 hours from the time I got to the hospital.