Today I don't feel so brave.
Today, I look back on my last post and wonder where all the bravado and optimism went!
I just don't feel courageous today...
Lord, I can't take another step on this road that You have laid out for me!!!! I can't!
Lord, I feel as if I am lost in memories today. I feel as though all I can think about is my Janie.
All I want is the feel of her skin next to mine.
All I can smell is her sweet, unique newborn smell.
All I can hear is my favorite nurse murmuring over her as she gently scooped her up.....
God, I need your help right now. I'm feeling lost without my baby and I need Your strength to see the blessings around me.....
Why are the memories bombarding me so strongly after 5 years??
Father, help me to see my Lucie and take comfort in her soft, beautiful skin! Help me to be comforted as I hold her and feed her and stroke her silken baby brown hair!
Help me, Lord, because without You, I would drown.