Monday, July 13, 2009

Poised

This is my Hannah.
She is poised on the brink of turning 12.
She is not a little girl anymore.
She is changing and maturing, metamorphosising into a tremendous young woman.

These facts confront me every day. It is not easy for me to raise an almost-12-year-old. I must raise her, as the firstborn girl in our family, with responsibility and confidence and grace, things which I was not raised with. I must shepherd her heart and shape it, without breaking it or hurting her. These things are of the utmost importance to me, and cannot be underestimated with this particular canvas that the Lord has given me.

Hannah was born confident. She has a natural grace.

I have to say, out of all my 6 daughters, she is the least like me.

I don't know how to raise her and shepherd her on my own.

But God, in His infinite wisdom, saw fit to give me this girl. He knew, in His sovereignty, who she would be. He wanted me to be her mom. I am continually astounded, humbled, and blessed, and yes, even afraid, that God would love me so much and trust me to participate in the rendering of this beautiful work in progress that is Hannah.

She is different from me in a myriad of ways. She has a large, generous heart. She is a natural athlete and excels in almost every sport she tries. She is an excellent natural artist, gifted by God. She loves the outdoors and she longs for the time when she can spend her time outside.

She is my right-hand girl......

I'm trying to walk with her down the road she is on right now. She is on the very cusp of womanhood. She is poised to enter in to the tremendous years of what is so right about being a young adult and being raised correctly....

But I still struggle. The simple fact that she is so different than me causes me no end of fear. Fear that I will crush her, fear that I can't bend, fear that the best of me won't be found in her....

And I crave a mentor, one who has walked where I walk. I pray for a mom who has successfully raised a daughter with the same principles we have. I know God hears my heart.....

So, I thank my Father every day for gifting me with this beautiful, wonderful gift whose laughter delights me and whose life I get the privilege to see unfold.

I remain humbled, in awe, astonished and amazed by....

My Hannah.

6 comments:

Christine said...

That is such a sweet post Leanne. Your Hannah is a beautiful young lady and she is blessed to have YOU for her mom. Lylas.

Kathy said...

Well, I can see that she is beautiful, so that is one way she has taken after you! What a lovely post...

Renata said...

Lovely post about a lovely young lady! You are doing a great job. My mum had 5 daughters & said that 12 is the most difficult age of all.

Sweet Annabelle said...

Wonderful post on your lovely daughter! I get the "I crave a mentor" part - yes. The go-to person on what to do when...

Leingang Family said...

That was beautiful! God will bless your heart's desire.

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

Praying for God to send you the mentor you desire... the encouragement that you need.

Sometimes it's good to be nervous about raising our children in the Lord. It shows that you care, that you're paying attention, that you are trying to please God and do right by Hannah. And God will bless you for it, Leanne!

I can't wait to meet her-- and you! Hopefully soon.

You are doing a fine job, Leannie-Loo. Talk, support, love, encourage, and pray.