Sunday, July 27, 2008

The End

I've made a decision.

I've been thinking and pondering the past few days.....actually, if I were totally honest, this decision has always been in the back of my heart, but it's come to the forefront in the past few months, clamoring for attention.

I won't keep my few readers in suspense any longer.

I've decided to go back to being a private citizen.

With private thoughts and a private life.

I have realized how much of a burden and obsession blogging and reading blogs has become for me. I've come to envy those who've never heard of blogging!

I'm actually breathing so much easier now that I've made this decision. I'm feeling so much better now that I've plotted a course of action.

I miss my paper journal. I miss sitting down in the mornings with the Lord and writing to Him in my journal. I miss the feel of the pen and the flow of the words. I'm going to get back to that.

This obsession has gotten so out of control for me that I now bring the laptop out to the living room when I get up, and, after a very short reading and prayer time, I'm on the computer.

I'm so grieved by that! I'm so grieved by the fact that this thing called blogging has taken the place of God in my life.

I can no longer allow that.

I miss having a private life. I know it was my own decision to make my life public by starting a blog, but the fascination is over for me.

I guess you could say I've grown out of this blogging thing.

Over the past several weeks, I've been slipping into an unhealthy state with this computer. I went from not blogging every day, to blogging a couple of times a week, to blogging every day, and now, I'm checking in on my laptop several times a day and constantly thinking about the computer....

I hate that.

I'm putting a stop to it.

I hate the lazy me I've become.

I want to concentrate on being a great wife. I want to remember what it's like to spend lots of time with my kids, having circle time and tea parties and spending one -on-one time with my son. Before they get too old.

Blogging has become a major distraction and a detriment in my life.

So, I'm cutting it out.

The dear friends that I've made online with my blog will know where to find me.

I feel so much lighter since I've made this decision! I feel like vast open spaces await me, to fill with everything productive!

I've decided to permanently delete this blog. I've also decided to no longer read blogs too. That part was a painful decision, but I can't wait to be free again....

I am so looking forward to being old fashioned and behind the times again!

I was so much happier before this blog.

I know it's going to sound funny to you, but I prefer being a private person. I prefer being in silence and solitude to anything, and my heart longs to go back to that, where the only people I share myself with is my family and my husband, and a very few good friends.

That's what I want and that's what I miss.

I don't have much of me, and I've spread myself way too thin, so that I've made the grave mistake of giving my family the leftovers at the end of the day. Gross.

So, this is goodbye. I'll still check my email, but I think I'm going to narrow it down to every couple of days. I will leave this post up for a week, and next Sunday I will delete my blog.

I think I hear my family in the background, cheering and clapping madly!

14 comments:

Christine said...

Leanne, I can totally understand your decision. I'm new to the blogging thing and hesitated to even start but I was spending a lot of time elsewhere on the internet, mainly birth club boards and parenting message boards. Since I've started blogging and reading blogs I actually don't spend as much time on the computer.
I'll miss you in the blog world but hope that you would like to keep in touch through email. I know I just "met" you but feel like I've known you forever. :D
God Bless you and have fun with having more time with your family. :D

heartathome said...

I understand your reasons and commend your decision! I count myself blessed to be among "the few"!!!!

chickadee said...

i'll miss you! but i'm glad you're doing what you need to do.

Monica said...

I'm so glad that you are able to step away for the sake of your relationships. Good for you. I do hope that you'll try to preserve some of your writing/pictures for your family's sake. I heard there is a way to copy/publish posts of your choice into a book. I'm sure someday your children would cherish reading your thoughts and insights.

Blessings.

fromthenarrows said...

Oh I am sorry to see you go, but I REALLY understand. I have taken breaks before and came back, but I knew it wasn't a permanent things when I did take a break. And they were good for me, but for some reason the blog world was calling me. I say that if it isn't working for you then it is time to move on. I am sure it was a hard decision but I also can tell you will have great peace about it. Blessings to you faithful servant.
Susan

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

I don't know what to say. Wow.
I'm sorry that you are leaving, Leanne.
But if you really feel that this is best for your family, than of course you must do what you feel led to do.
I'm just bummed that it's happening...

Renata said...

I'm going to miss you Leanne. I came to say I've given your blog an award, so what a shock! I understand. I'm timing myself on the blogs now as I was spending much too much time on them. If this doesn't work, I'll also quit! I just want you to know I'll keep praying for you & your family & your pregnancy. Please take care & look after your beautiful family. I'll meet you in heaven some day!
Renata

mylittleducks5 said...

I am going to miss you. I know you have to do what you feel is right. I would love an email here and there. I also want to hear all about the new baby. You are a dear friend. If I ever make it to WA maybe we can meet up. Otherwise I will see you in eternity.
:>Michelle
jells5899 at sbcglobal dot net

EEEEMommy said...

I certainly understand. I took a hiatus about this time last year. It was much needed, but God allowed me to return to the ministry and fellowship of the blogosphere. I must continue to guard my time as well. This post has challenged me to be wise.

I pray God's hand will be upon you throughout the duration of the pregnancy. I also pray that the movie is successful. May God bless you and your family.

Grace and Peace,
Angel

BellaMama said...

Good for you!! This is something I've been considering, but right now, I'm not there yet. My heart rejoices for you! I think we all need the reminder to reprioritize our life & see where we need to cut the "me" time & turn it into blessing our family!
You will see many blessings come of this!!
Mrs. C.

Marsha Marsha Marsha said...

Oh my word, I am so behind on the times, girl!

I will miss you here in blogland but I do hope that you will still visit me on occasion at my blawg. And I think I don't really need to mention that you better still IM me and send me e-mail's... because I SAID SO.

And if that's not enough, then you better... OR ELSE!

I do understand about how obsessive it can be and how the computer can steal joy and steal time. I have BTDT! I'll be praying for you, dear dear Leanne. And I am SO glad that God allowed us to be friends during this blogging season of your life!

Lots of love,
Marsha

Michelle said...

I think it is so awesome that you are following what the Lord is leading you to do. Keep me posted on the precious wee one and please do get ahold of me when you are in the area. I'd love to meet you in real life! Michelle

runningtothecross said...

Leanne...

I will miss you, but I understand completely. I hope to keep in touch with you, though!

I have often wondered if that would be the best thing for me, but then I remember all the things I have written and I would not be able to completely erase my "journal". But we will see.

The Lord Bless you & Keep you!
Heather

Chelsea Pang said...

I hear you. Your testament is a great lesson to new bloggers like me. Perspective, purpose driven use of my time and staying close to home. Thank you!
I hope we can stay in contact over email though!