I'm back!!
And I'm back with something so utterly silly and UN-important as these silly questions that I've answered, after I've seen this same meme on my friends' blogs....
I got a wild hair, okay?
I had to answer them!
Here goes, and I apologize for the lack of pictures...allllllll of our pictures are on Husband's Big Computer, and he's on it right now....
So....
What color are my socks? I'm not wearing any.
What am I listening to right now? Husband giving Samantha a flute lesson and Hannah feeding oatmeal to Lucie...bliss, I tell ya!
Last thing I ate? A delightful corn quesadilla with colby jack cheese and Green Tabasco ranch. And a bit of apple oatmeal.
Do I know how to drive a stick? Um, no. Does anyone anymore??
Last person I spoke to on the phone: Husband, earlier in the day, on his way home from work. He has a bit of a commute.
How old am I today? I'm 37 and three days! Yep, I turned 37 three days ago!
What is my favorite sport to watch on TV? Ice Skating, long program, or Gymnastics.
Favorite drink?? 20 oz vanilla or kona mocha Big Train with 5 pumps of coconut and 2 shots of decaf, caramel on the cup!!
Have I ever dyed my hair? Yes. I dyed my hair for many years, until my then-5 year old Samantha said she didn't like me to dye it, so I have not dyed my hair since then. It is naturally very, very dark.
Favorite food? Mexican. Or Greek.
What was the last movie I watched? Gaither Atlanta Homecoming DVD. Does that count as a movie??
What is my favorite day of the year? My fave day is Thanksgiving.
How do I vent my anger? Talk really, REALLY loud. Slam things around. Even throwing things. Be really sarcastic. All right in front of my kids. Then cry afterwards from shame and guilt. And ask forgiveness from them. I'm NOT proud of this! Only starkly honest. I'm not perfect, and God's grace covers over a lot of ME.
What was my favorite toy as a child? Easy one! My Barbies. I had tons and tons of stuff. I spent hours and hours by myself playing Barbies. Barbie and Ken were always in bed together. Their pillows were maxi pads! Ugh, I hate Barbies now!!! Haughty eyes, trashy clothes.......
What is my favorite season? Hands down, my fave season is Autumn!
When was the last time I cried? Yesterday. And a tiny bit today.
Cherries or Blueberries? Strawberries!!!!
What is my living situation? Queer question! In a house with my family!!
What is on the floor of my closet? My shoes are there, plus, I think Dave's big ol' winter parka for work is down there.
What am I most afraid of? I will always be most afraid of my babies dying. I've been through this but it will never be easier.
Plain, cheese, or spicy burgers? I love my burgers! Red Robin is my fave burger joint, and I like my burgers gooey, with alllll the fixin's. And no bun.
What is my favorite dog breed? None. I'm not a fan of dogs at all, even though we have a Blue Heeler and a Black Lab.
What is my favorite day of the week? Sunday, because Husband is off work and gets to stay home alllll day, and the day stretches, on and on, like a smooth, bright golden late summer day.
What is my favorite flower?? Sunflowers. And black eyed Susans. And marigolds.
The last question was if I had had the H1N1 vaccine, which I think I will not answer!
I guess you know all there is to know about me now!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Creation's Celebration
Lord, the earth shouts Your Name~
In perfect chorus,
in ageless tune,
in sublime harmony!
Trees
raising baritone voices
and bold bass notes~
Fields of flowers
declaring You~
in sweet, soprano song.
Waters, streams, rivers
weaving tireless tenor lines~
Mountains trumpet
to exalt You
with eternal glorious cadence~
And waves
crash cymbals of joy
over it all.
Creation looks to You
changeless Conductor and Concertmaster~
Oh, may my voice
ever be a part of this constant,
ceaseless
Celebration!
In perfect chorus,
in ageless tune,
in sublime harmony!
Trees
raising baritone voices
and bold bass notes~
Fields of flowers
declaring You~
in sweet, soprano song.
Waters, streams, rivers
weaving tireless tenor lines~
Mountains trumpet
to exalt You
with eternal glorious cadence~
And waves
crash cymbals of joy
over it all.
Creation looks to You
changeless Conductor and Concertmaster~
Oh, may my voice
ever be a part of this constant,
ceaseless
Celebration!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
25 Things
I got this idea from my friend Kathryn's blog....
Yes, I have no new ideas for great, soul-wrenching posts today. It's been, shall we say, a Hard couple of weeks!!
So I'm taking the easy way out!! Keep reading if you want to know ANOTHER 25 things about me!!
1. I haven't dyed my hair in about 6 years. I had been dying it, and Daughter Number Two, who was about 5 at the time, said "I don't like it when you dye your hair. I like your real color." I never dyed my hair again.
2. I'm a VORACIOUS reader.
3. I'm getting more girly and feminine the older I get. I'm liking pretty and classy things more and more!
4. I am the only girl my husband has ever kissed!
5. I have been on some sort of worship team, at one time or another, since I was 13.
6. I have been in choir or a chorus of some sort since I was 6 years old.
7. I haven't worn jeans in 5 years.
8. I have weird eyelashes. One of my eyes has long, straight eyelashes, while the other has short, curly eyelashes, due to a strange eye disease I had when I was pregnant with Sofia. Annoying to try to put mascara on...
9. I adore Gaither Homecoming videos. I'd love to sing with them someday.
10. I just got a new lotion from Desert Essence Organics that I use before I go to bed. It's Vanilla Chai, a different scent for me, but I read somewhere that vanilla helps you relax and sleep better.
11. I'd love to go on a road trip all over the nation, eating my way from one state to the next. Without gaining weight!!
12. I learned how to drive the riding lawnmower! Daughter Number One showed me. Fun!
13. I'm not the most confident person. In fact, my lack of confidence has kept me from trying anything new or different in a lot of areas. I'm gaining more confidence now that I'm Becoming An Adult!!
14. I've never had a hard mixed drink or shot in my life. And I don't want to! The stuff smells like paint thinner and probably tastes even worse!
15. I almost named Daughter Number One Cassidy. I had a cheesy love affair with Kathie Lee Gifford and I watched Live with Regis and Kathie Lee every morning, and she named her daughter
Cassidy and I loved it....but Husband said No Way.
16. My first baby, Our Only Boy, hardly moved in the womb. I can count the times he moved. He was NOT an active baby at all. ( I guess this one wasn't really about ME!)
17. I had blonde hair my whole life, until I turned 14. My hair got darker with every pregnancy I've had. It's so dark it's almost black! (In preparation to go gray, I'm sure!)
18. I heart me some fries and brown gravy! Mmmmm! Haven't had it in years.
19. After I give birth, my first meal is a double order of beef and gravy with mashed potatoes and a salad and a Pepsi. Yes, it's hospital food and not that great, but I'm always totally starving and it tastes wonderful to me! It's a tradition with me.
20. I cannot stand being too hot.
21. I've never had a cavity. I've never had braces. Shoot, I've probably been to the dentist 3 times in my entire life. (Don't hate me).
22. I hate mini blinds.
23. I do not own a bathrobe.
24. I wear Breathe Rights when I go to bed at night. I don't snore, it's just prevention. (It's TRUE!)
25. I went straight from my mom and dad's house to being married. I had never lived on my own.
Now YOU do 25 things!!
Yes, I have no new ideas for great, soul-wrenching posts today. It's been, shall we say, a Hard couple of weeks!!
So I'm taking the easy way out!! Keep reading if you want to know ANOTHER 25 things about me!!
1. I haven't dyed my hair in about 6 years. I had been dying it, and Daughter Number Two, who was about 5 at the time, said "I don't like it when you dye your hair. I like your real color." I never dyed my hair again.
2. I'm a VORACIOUS reader.
3. I'm getting more girly and feminine the older I get. I'm liking pretty and classy things more and more!
4. I am the only girl my husband has ever kissed!
5. I have been on some sort of worship team, at one time or another, since I was 13.
6. I have been in choir or a chorus of some sort since I was 6 years old.
7. I haven't worn jeans in 5 years.
8. I have weird eyelashes. One of my eyes has long, straight eyelashes, while the other has short, curly eyelashes, due to a strange eye disease I had when I was pregnant with Sofia. Annoying to try to put mascara on...
9. I adore Gaither Homecoming videos. I'd love to sing with them someday.
10. I just got a new lotion from Desert Essence Organics that I use before I go to bed. It's Vanilla Chai, a different scent for me, but I read somewhere that vanilla helps you relax and sleep better.
11. I'd love to go on a road trip all over the nation, eating my way from one state to the next. Without gaining weight!!
12. I learned how to drive the riding lawnmower! Daughter Number One showed me. Fun!
13. I'm not the most confident person. In fact, my lack of confidence has kept me from trying anything new or different in a lot of areas. I'm gaining more confidence now that I'm Becoming An Adult!!
14. I've never had a hard mixed drink or shot in my life. And I don't want to! The stuff smells like paint thinner and probably tastes even worse!
15. I almost named Daughter Number One Cassidy. I had a cheesy love affair with Kathie Lee Gifford and I watched Live with Regis and Kathie Lee every morning, and she named her daughter
Cassidy and I loved it....but Husband said No Way.
16. My first baby, Our Only Boy, hardly moved in the womb. I can count the times he moved. He was NOT an active baby at all. ( I guess this one wasn't really about ME!)
17. I had blonde hair my whole life, until I turned 14. My hair got darker with every pregnancy I've had. It's so dark it's almost black! (In preparation to go gray, I'm sure!)
18. I heart me some fries and brown gravy! Mmmmm! Haven't had it in years.
19. After I give birth, my first meal is a double order of beef and gravy with mashed potatoes and a salad and a Pepsi. Yes, it's hospital food and not that great, but I'm always totally starving and it tastes wonderful to me! It's a tradition with me.
20. I cannot stand being too hot.
21. I've never had a cavity. I've never had braces. Shoot, I've probably been to the dentist 3 times in my entire life. (Don't hate me).
22. I hate mini blinds.
23. I do not own a bathrobe.
24. I wear Breathe Rights when I go to bed at night. I don't snore, it's just prevention. (It's TRUE!)
25. I went straight from my mom and dad's house to being married. I had never lived on my own.
Now YOU do 25 things!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Unravelling Mysteries
Some of you are friends of mine of Facebook.
You may have been noticing my uncharacteristically cryptic status updates.
Today I'm ready to unravel the mystery behind such status updates, for those of you who have been wondering.
Sunday we found out we were pregnant. We were elated! We announced it at church! I brought out the bright green crate of carefully stored-away maternity clothes that we had been waiting many months to be able to use again!
The very next day we found out we were having a miscarriage.
The miscarriage was confirmed today, when Dr W himself called me. When I heard his soft, kind voice on the phone, I immediately started shaking.
He asked me to come in next Thursday to confirm the passage of our baby. He said that a pregnancy blood test would come up negative by then. He said it was a very early miscarriage.
I've thought about doing a post on miscarriage for a couple of weeks now. I wanted to try to shed some light on the whole thing, for those of you who have never had one, or for you who may know someone who has had one and maybe want to help that person.
We've had three miscarriages now. In three years. We've also suffered from infertility for more than two years, after we had Sofia, who is now four years old. We've been at both ends of the spectrum in the realm of childbirth and babies, from elation and joy and triumph to crushing sadness and anguish and terrible grief.
People may wonder why we are so crushed and grieved and saddened after a miscarriage, because after all, we were "barely pregnant".
With our miscarriages, our first one was very early. Our second one was fairly late and very difficult.
You see, the moment that stick turns color, I take possession. The very suggestion of two pink lines causes me to start to dream about the new Little One who will be joining our family! Upon seeing that magical word "Pregnant" in that little window, my mother-hen instinct kicks into overdrive.
And these angel babies of mine are under my skin. They stay just long enough to make their presence known, with sickness and cravings and gentle tiredness. They grace my womb just long enough to get into my heart. Just long enough to be bonded in my soul for life. Just long enough for the giddy joy and passionate ownership to take hold....
And then.......they are gone.
To me, there is just no such thing as being "barely pregnant". There is nothing that rings true in my spirit about that! It isn't a comforting thought or a trite and quick way to "get over it".
I prayed and begged and pleaded with God to let us keep this Baby. And I came to a place of acceptance that, no matter what happened, He is sovereign. His will was ultimately what I wanted. Even if it meant struggling down this path again. I found peace in that.
A mother is a mother no matter how long the child is hers. I am this baby's mother no matter how long we knew each other. I don't stop being their mother once they are gone from this earth. I remember them with fondness and love and sorrow, looking forward to the day when I will meet my baby face-to-face.
I have confidence that my body will do what it is designed to do. But my heart? It isn't as easy as taking a blood test to confirm the loss.
My heart will remember.
This night, I have one more deposit in Heaven.
And tonight, Heaven is much more real and closer now than ever before.
You may have been noticing my uncharacteristically cryptic status updates.
Today I'm ready to unravel the mystery behind such status updates, for those of you who have been wondering.
Sunday we found out we were pregnant. We were elated! We announced it at church! I brought out the bright green crate of carefully stored-away maternity clothes that we had been waiting many months to be able to use again!
The very next day we found out we were having a miscarriage.
The miscarriage was confirmed today, when Dr W himself called me. When I heard his soft, kind voice on the phone, I immediately started shaking.
He asked me to come in next Thursday to confirm the passage of our baby. He said that a pregnancy blood test would come up negative by then. He said it was a very early miscarriage.
I've thought about doing a post on miscarriage for a couple of weeks now. I wanted to try to shed some light on the whole thing, for those of you who have never had one, or for you who may know someone who has had one and maybe want to help that person.
We've had three miscarriages now. In three years. We've also suffered from infertility for more than two years, after we had Sofia, who is now four years old. We've been at both ends of the spectrum in the realm of childbirth and babies, from elation and joy and triumph to crushing sadness and anguish and terrible grief.
People may wonder why we are so crushed and grieved and saddened after a miscarriage, because after all, we were "barely pregnant".
With our miscarriages, our first one was very early. Our second one was fairly late and very difficult.
You see, the moment that stick turns color, I take possession. The very suggestion of two pink lines causes me to start to dream about the new Little One who will be joining our family! Upon seeing that magical word "Pregnant" in that little window, my mother-hen instinct kicks into overdrive.
And these angel babies of mine are under my skin. They stay just long enough to make their presence known, with sickness and cravings and gentle tiredness. They grace my womb just long enough to get into my heart. Just long enough to be bonded in my soul for life. Just long enough for the giddy joy and passionate ownership to take hold....
And then.......they are gone.
To me, there is just no such thing as being "barely pregnant". There is nothing that rings true in my spirit about that! It isn't a comforting thought or a trite and quick way to "get over it".
I prayed and begged and pleaded with God to let us keep this Baby. And I came to a place of acceptance that, no matter what happened, He is sovereign. His will was ultimately what I wanted. Even if it meant struggling down this path again. I found peace in that.
A mother is a mother no matter how long the child is hers. I am this baby's mother no matter how long we knew each other. I don't stop being their mother once they are gone from this earth. I remember them with fondness and love and sorrow, looking forward to the day when I will meet my baby face-to-face.
I have confidence that my body will do what it is designed to do. But my heart? It isn't as easy as taking a blood test to confirm the loss.
My heart will remember.
This night, I have one more deposit in Heaven.
And tonight, Heaven is much more real and closer now than ever before.
Friday, March 26, 2010
New Focus
Daily tasks.....
Seemingly mundane chores.....
Repetitive things.....
For what? Why?
For Him!
These are some revelations that God gave me a couple of weeks ago during my morning devotion time.
Every day I do the same tasks, the same chores, the same things, and most days, I'm totally mentally and emotionally exhausted from the seemingly never ceasing, well, sameness of it all.
A couple of weeks ago in my daily devotion book, it talked about the woman who came in during the Last Supper and anointed Jesus with the costly nard. When the disciples saw this they asked in their hearts, "Why? Why?".......
And the answer......the answer was such an epiphany for me! Such a cathartic moment for me!
Jesus answered.....
"For Me."
My reading went on to say how Martha served many times.....but that was for Everyone. And Simon hosted dinners, but that wasn't exclusively for Him either......
But the woman with the Box of Oil.....
Now that was just for Him!
She did it Exclusively to minister to Him, regardless of who was there, or who was looking on, or what they were thinking in their minds!
Woah.
I'm going to be the first one to confess that I had never or have never in any morning devotion time, or nighttime devotion time for that matter, dedicated my day to Jesus, and I've never had the attitude of the woman with the Box. I've never looked at the daily tasks as things I could do for Him. I've never brought up my children for Him, or schooled them for Him, or vacuumed for Him. Shocking! The daily tasks in my house were done because of duty, or to bless Daddy, or because there were guests coming.....
Today, my focus has shifted a bit. Oh, I'm not "all the way there" yet. But my gaze has unwittingly been sharpened. My heart has been blessed, been diverted, from its previous course.....
For Him.
I had forgotten that I am to do everything "as unto Him" (Col 3:23-24)
My heart is grieved thinking about so many opportunities for praise missed! My heart is sad when I think of so many moments in the seemingly mundane that could have been worshipful!
This day I'm asking God to forgive me for being unmindful of the Guest, no, The Dweller in my home, that the first thing I'll do each morning is offer my day, and all of my efforts, to Him....
For Him.
And I know, with a right heart, and the deep knowing Who I'm really teaching for, Who I'm really baking for, Who I'm really working for
These tasks turn to Joys!
Seemingly mundane chores.....
Repetitive things.....
For what? Why?
For Him!
These are some revelations that God gave me a couple of weeks ago during my morning devotion time.
Every day I do the same tasks, the same chores, the same things, and most days, I'm totally mentally and emotionally exhausted from the seemingly never ceasing, well, sameness of it all.
A couple of weeks ago in my daily devotion book, it talked about the woman who came in during the Last Supper and anointed Jesus with the costly nard. When the disciples saw this they asked in their hearts, "Why? Why?".......
And the answer......the answer was such an epiphany for me! Such a cathartic moment for me!
Jesus answered.....
"For Me."
My reading went on to say how Martha served many times.....but that was for Everyone. And Simon hosted dinners, but that wasn't exclusively for Him either......
But the woman with the Box of Oil.....
Now that was just for Him!
She did it Exclusively to minister to Him, regardless of who was there, or who was looking on, or what they were thinking in their minds!
Woah.
I'm going to be the first one to confess that I had never or have never in any morning devotion time, or nighttime devotion time for that matter, dedicated my day to Jesus, and I've never had the attitude of the woman with the Box. I've never looked at the daily tasks as things I could do for Him. I've never brought up my children for Him, or schooled them for Him, or vacuumed for Him. Shocking! The daily tasks in my house were done because of duty, or to bless Daddy, or because there were guests coming.....
Today, my focus has shifted a bit. Oh, I'm not "all the way there" yet. But my gaze has unwittingly been sharpened. My heart has been blessed, been diverted, from its previous course.....
For Him.
I had forgotten that I am to do everything "as unto Him" (Col 3:23-24)
My heart is grieved thinking about so many opportunities for praise missed! My heart is sad when I think of so many moments in the seemingly mundane that could have been worshipful!
This day I'm asking God to forgive me for being unmindful of the Guest, no, The Dweller in my home, that the first thing I'll do each morning is offer my day, and all of my efforts, to Him....
For Him.
And I know, with a right heart, and the deep knowing Who I'm really teaching for, Who I'm really baking for, Who I'm really working for
These tasks turn to Joys!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Hello
It's me!
If this looks a bit different than normal, it's because I'm on a different computer for a few moments. I decided to do a post to let you all know I'm still here....only in a different "here" these days. We've moved to The Country and don't have internet!
Hooray.
So, I've only been on the internet once in the past three weeks.
Yes, it is VERY hard.
I miss all of you and I miss reading my fave blogs.....
This computer is soooo sooooo slow, it's not even worth going online.
I will defintely be back, just not sure when. We're researching internet providers for Country people. My husband does need high speed internet for his composing.......
I do hope I'll be online again very soon.
Don't write me off completely, okay? I've lots and LOTS of posts careening around in my mind, so.....
Stay Tuned!
If this looks a bit different than normal, it's because I'm on a different computer for a few moments. I decided to do a post to let you all know I'm still here....only in a different "here" these days. We've moved to The Country and don't have internet!
Hooray.
So, I've only been on the internet once in the past three weeks.
Yes, it is VERY hard.
I miss all of you and I miss reading my fave blogs.....
This computer is soooo sooooo slow, it's not even worth going online.
I will defintely be back, just not sure when. We're researching internet providers for Country people. My husband does need high speed internet for his composing.......
I do hope I'll be online again very soon.
Don't write me off completely, okay? I've lots and LOTS of posts careening around in my mind, so.....
Stay Tuned!
Friday, January 15, 2010
A First
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Gracious sakes, people!
The Beautiful Blogger Award has been bestowed on this tiny, humble blog by Karen!
I want to thank all of you out there, my wonderful blog readers, for this award! I want to thank my dogs for their love and affection. I'd like to thank my socks for keeping my feet warm..........
Oh! Sorry......I was writing my acceptance speech and went off on a rabbit trail there.....
All I have to do for this award is to post about 7 quirks I have.
Only 7???
It's going to be hard to pick only seven of my idiosyncrasies...
But I'll try.
1. I hate the sound of silverware scraping against teeth during a meal. It's akin to how some people feel when fingernails are scraped down a chalkboard.
2. I will never, NEVER like black licorice. Sorry, Honey!
3. I didn't get my driver's license till I was 20. What's more pathetic is that it was THREE DAYS before my wedding! What can I say, I lead a sheltered life back then.....
4. When Samantha (Baby #3) was born, I kissed her right on the forehead as soon as they put her on my tummy. Yep. I kissed her, cottage cheesy, gooey and bloody though she was. I was just so relieved and happy that she was finally here. I've never done that with any of my other babies.
5. When I was pregnant with Lucie, I craved egg rolls. But they couldn't be just any ol' egg rolls. They had to be from a local Chinese joint that my husband delivers mail to. And I craved BBQ SAUCE with them. Ugh. And no, I never ate the two together!
6. I love the taste of apple cider vinegar. I sometimes crave it.
7. I've never been on a roller coaster in my life. Ever. And I'm PROUD to say that!
So there you have it. I could go on and on about all my bizarre ways.
But you don't have the time and I'd hate to bore you to tears!!!
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