Monday, May 7, 2012

Stumbling

Okay, this post may be.....stepping on toes a bit?? I hope not, and that is truly not my intention.  It's just that this topic has been swirling round in my mind for a few days and this blog is my outlet.  So, I apologize in advance if any of you are offended or upset after reading it.  Please keep an open mind.  I base this post on my observations in my daily travels and on what I see around me, especially in church.

Alright.

What I want to talk about is the way we as women dress.

I want to bring to your attention something that really irritates me, and it's probably something most of you never think about because it's so normal and so accepted nowadays, even in church.  Maybe you're actually participating or doing it to.

Let me start by coming straight to the point of what I'm getting at, and then I'll offer points to defend my observation.

The Bible says in the New Testament that we as a congregation are not to cause our brothers to stumble.  I mean, if you had someone over for dinner who was a recovering alchoholic, would you serve martinis or offer them beer? If your friend was struggling with gluttony and she was trying to lose weight, would you shove food down her throat? And one more example: If your uncle was a former gambler and had formerly been addicted to it, would you take him to a casino?

Has anyone out there even thought about this issue?

By trying not to cause our brothers or sisters to stumble, this means that we are very careful as to the way we behave in front of different people.  I believe this is the essence of loving each other.  You're actually, by not leading people into the situations I mentioned above, you're simply doing your Biblical duty to love them and to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

And this applies to the way we dress as women also.

Stay with me here.

If the Bible says that the eye of man is never satisfied, what do you think that means? I think this applies to men and women both....but specifically, for my post, I think it means that we all have areas we struggle with, whether it be shopping or eating too much or gambling or drinking or abusing drugs.....

Or looking at the opposite sex inappropriately.

These days, men have a veritable buffet for their eyes, if you just look around you at the way women dress.  They see tight shirts.  Cleavage hanging out right before their eyes.  Miles of leg.  Tight slacks/yoga pants/skirts.  Alll over the place, even in church.  Women are dressing however they want to, without a thought as to who is looking or watching.

I've seen women of varying ages, in my church and previous churches we've been at, wearing all sorts of really inappropriate clothing.  Sitting in the front row with see-through shirts on.  With thighs and legs fully exposed.  With cleavage blatantly visible.

And not even having a clue as to how inappropriate this is!

And men are looking, believe me.

If the eye of man is never satisfied, do you expect them to look away when we show our skin? If he's hungry, is he going to get up and leave the banquet?

This is a lot of temptation for men, ladies.  It's disrespectful to our Christian brothers to offer them a feast for their eyes, as it were.  It's disprespectful to dress in a way that draws attention to body parts that should otherwise be covered and only exposed for our own husbands.  As a wife, I'm disgusted by the way many of the women in my church are dressing, and possibly causing my honorable and virtuous and upright husband's eye to be drawn to you.

I've seen it all, in my time.  I've wanted so badly to gently and privately pull so many ladies aside and ask them why they wore something or if they have any idea how much skin they're showing.

The Bible tells husbands to make a point of drinking from their own wells and being satisfied with the wives of their youth.....but how can they do this faithfully when, every single day and everywhere they go, there's all this skin and cleavage and butts before their eyes??

Dressing inappropriately is causing our brothers to stumble. Period.

Do you know how many men struggle with pornography? I bet you don't.  Do you know how many men have a wandering eye? I bet you don't.

One of the things that really gets me angry is when I see women walking around in revealing and inappropriate attire, and I see all these guys just totally staring!

Have you ever noticed that? If not, it's time to notice! Those men are someone else's husbands or boyfriends or fathers! And your attire is causing them to struggle with keeping their eyes to themselves!

Now, please hear me here, I'm NOT defending men who cheat on their wives and I'm NOT saying it's all our faults that men stare at sexy women......

But I AM saying that we can cause our brothers to stumble into sin in their thought lives if we aren't paying attention to the way we dress and the skin we show.

And I AM asking you to be aware of this issue for yourself.  Do you want YOUR husband staring at another girl? Do you want to be that girl that they're staring at??

I for one do not want to be the one that all of the guys stare at because I'm dressed like a tramp.  Yep, that's what I said. In my opinion, Christian girls who dress in the popular skimpy fashions which leave little to the imagination are no different.

Look ladies, God calls us to be different! He calls us to be set apart! He calls us to exude His likeness.  He demands that we look different and talk different and live our lives differently!

How can anyone tell if Christ is the love of your life if you dress just like the girl on the cover of Glamour magazine??

Please be aware of the clothing you wear.  You don't have to suddenly turn frumpy and dowdy and start dressing like a nun! I love cute clothes and I love to look elegant and stylish (my OWN style) and I love to be girlie.....

But I like to do it with my assets covered, cause they're for my husband's eyes only!

Don't show your cleavage.  Don't wear the new really short dresses without leggings.  Don't wear the short waisted pants that show your butt crack every time you bend over.  Just don't.

What I want to know is:

Is this topic worth a bit of discussion? Leave me a comment!

4 comments:

Tesha said...

Well Amen is all I can say. In California there is A LOT of very almost naked women all over the place. THe Beach's are practically nude beaches these days. I have to say because I am a mother of many boys and we live in this place I am really into teaching personal responsibility to our sons. That they are responsible to keep their eyes and heart pure. We have this game called eye bounce, and when ever we see an inappropriate girl my husband will tell the boys bounce your eyes that means do not stay there, look away. I agree we as christian woman should be modest but we also must teach our sons and christian men that it is their responsibility to keep their hearts pure. Great post!!!

Rebeca said...

I agree that women need to be modest. I agree with the above comment that we need to teach our sons to honor women and God by not looking at what shouldn't be looked at. I also think that women need to be careful just how much responsibility they take for men. Hear me out: in some Islamic countries a woman is at fault if she is raped. Obviously, by their reasoning, she incited him to lust, even if she were fully covered in her burka. Men need to take some responsibility here too.
Modesty is so much MORE than the way we dress. It's the way we act, the way we speak, the way we relate to men. I'm all for dressing modestly. I personally do not feel this means we must wear skirts all the time. I think sometimes the emphasis on modesty has created shame for women, shame that they have womanly figures, and that's the other side of the coin. We are women, and created differently than men. While I think we need to keep ourselves appropriately covered, I don't think we need to be ashamed of our shape. And I'm not talking about wearing skin tight stuff, just that we don't need to wear cape dresses. :> This conversation (not on your blog, on other places) has also brought a lot of shame to women just for being women. And that's something I want to instill in my daughters too... that they are beautiful and they don't need to be ashamed of that, but also to preserve their modesty and chastity. And I teach my kids, who are quick to point out women who are not dressed modestly, that we can honor them, and honor God, by looking away, even though that woman is dishonoring herself and God by dressing that way.
I don't know if that made much sense or not. :> I think that both men and women need to step up to the plate on this one.

Erin said...

Like so many things, there needs to be balance. Finding that balance between modesty and style is a tricky road to walk sometimes. Thanks for the reminder to protect our Godly men who are trying their best to remain pure of heart and mind!

Susan said...

Amen, and amen, and amen. That is all i can say. Anymore would be too mcuh. You hit it right on the nail.