Thursday, May 7, 2009

Leaves

Can I just do a random thoughts post tonight??

Have you ever felt so in-demand, so needed, so pulled from every direction, yet so alone, so insignificant, so small and unheard?

Tonight I've put words to my feelings.  While feeding Lucie, I suddenly just knew how I have been feeling.  I haven't been able to articulate the feelings swirling around in my heart.....but here it is for you to see.

To have words for what is going on in the depths of my "reins" as the Bible calls the deepest parts of us, made me cry! I suddenly found tears coursing down my cheeks.  Ever have that happen, for seemingly no reason?

Do you ever feel the sameness of your days? Do you ever feel old because of the day-in-day-outness of your days?

Today I feel spread paper thin, alone, yelling at the top of my voice yet nobody hears me.  Today I feel like a dry maple leaf, just fallen off a tree in the Fall, scuttling loudly along in the wind, only to get crunched underfoot by an unsuspecting passerby.

Heavy thoughts, I know.

And yet......

And yet.....

That still small Voice......that quiet whisper......I can still hear it.

And it's the only thing that keeps me sane.  I don't have to understand myself, because He does.

2 comments:

Emily said...

I've been there. Feeling unimportant. It passes quickly, because kids tend to be so great at noticing mom being in a slump. Have you noticed that?

Go do something different today. Take the kids somewhere...even if it's to a garage sale...just get out. That helps me to rejuvinate and not feel so alone.

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

Love you, my friend.