Monday, March 28, 2011

One Month

Hi all!

We're just past the one month mark since Pennie came into our world.  How are we all doing?


I'll tell you.  All you moms out there know how the first couple of months are with a new baby! And yes, the first several weeks have been tough here too.  Just because my baby is the most beautiful and sweet baby on earth doesn't mean it's been easy!! Ha.

How am I personally feeling?? I'm sleep deprived.  You know, there's nothing quite like that feeling when you wake up at 3 AM, and your shirt's all crusty and your b**bs are 7X's their normal size, and you're soaked with leaking milk.  Your hair is dripping grease and your eyes are crusted shut from not showering in a month......You're wearing the same outfit you wore when the baby was born, and you haven't had a square meal in four days.  Yep.  That about sums up how I'm feelin'!  AND you gotta get up and be a mom to everyone and a good wife......I've made it through by God's grace.

Our Pennie is absolutely thriving, I mean, she's growing like a beanstalk and is having more awake time during the day now.  We never get tired of seeing her vivid, denim blue eyes! And wow, her eyes are BIG!  Her birth weight was around 5 lbs 13 oz, and now, at 5 weeks old, she weighs around 8 lbs 7 oz!!

Yep, she's definitely a good nurser, and she likes to nurse a lot! I have never, ever had so much milk! I joke that I have at least a gallon per side.

Alas, even though she's about the size that a newborn should be, the darling clothes we have all saved up from the other girls just don't fit her yet.  She's still tiny, really compact.....But it seems our world has started to revolve around her!

Everyone else is really, really great.  I have a whole family of helpers, and they are so willing to pitch in with her, as evidenced by the fact that Sis is holding Pennie while I do a quick post!  They're all enchanted with her and it sure does seem like we just couldn't do without her.

I actually was fortunate enough to get a shower this afternoon!! AND I even fixed my hair! Wa-HOO! I feel semi-human again.

I do think there's a bit of postpartum blues going on, and my hormones are still freakin' out.  I've got a case of the hives and I have NO idea where they came from.  My digestion is not working! Yay.  Hey, just keepin' it real here, just sharing and trying to be transparent cause I want ya'll to know that yep, you're not alone in these newborn days, if you're reading this and you've recently given birth.

I'm trying to remember that this too shall pass......and Pennie's really growing so fast and I'm already melancholy over it!

Pennie is a very vocal sleeper and nurser.  She murmurs and sighs and sings and coos and smiles, both as she nurses and as she sleeps.  I love it.  She's such a sweet cuddly-poo too.  Ah, she's just exactly what my heart needs right now.

Yes, I miss Olivia.  Every day.  My heart whispers for her.  When I look into Pennie's eyes, I am comforted to know that those are Olivia's eyes looking at me too.  Today, I'm doing well with my grief.

Yesterday we went to some dear friends' 50th anniversary celebration, and a gal I hadn't seen in a while asked me, as she was holding Pennie, if she was Olivia or Pennie.  Ouch.  I'm learning to talk about them both, to tell people my story.

I just want to do this with grace.  I want to shine forth His faithfulness.  Yes, He gives, and He takes away.......But my quiver is full and I know there is so much more.  Pennie is the latest stitch in our canvas, and yes, there are rough seams, but I hope they add beautiful color to the overall work that He is painting for me!


Devin said...

I totally had to laugh at your description of 'new motherhood'!! It is absolutely NOT a glamorous thing, is it? :)

I will be praying for you--the digestion and hormones and all. I remember that--it is no fun, and seemingly little things can feel insurmountable for no apparent reason.

One thing I found out after our loss--people say a lot of DUMB, insensitive things. But they don't mean it that way at all. It's best to be able to handle that will grace--but that can really be tough. God will sustain!

Good to hear from you, my friend....seems all is going pretty well, overall, and that is an answer to prayer!

Susan said...

I love this post. I must confess that my little guy will be a month old on the 3rd of April and thsi is has been my easiest transition. I joke with my husband and tell him this is either our last baby or the Lord is showing us that we can do this again. Either way I am enjoying my new little one.
So glad to hear you got that shower it always makes us feel alive again.

Leanne I have loved reading your blog and am glad to have a new blogging friend.

EEEEMommy said...

So, I'm more than a month late, but CONGRATULATIONS! Pennie is beautiful! My prayers remain with you!

Grace and Peace,

Renata said...

Leanne - this is beautiful. You described those first couple of months perfectly!
So glad you are able to talk about Olivia - it must be so hard & my heart aches for you & your loss.
Glad you are going well & Pennie is growing up so quickly!