If I always choose the easy way, asking God for peaceful valleys, will I ever see God's power displayed to enable me to take a mountain?
This question blindsided me from my morning devotion this morning. Hmmm....It wasn't phrased as a question. It was an all-out challenge, which I generally do not do well with. But this day the Lord has been asking me this allllllllllll day.
I do pray for peaceful valleys and calm waters all the time. I don't like change, shakings, rough paths! I don't know HOW to mountain climb. I like comfort. Dare I say that I LIKE my complacency?
I've been feeling challenged by God lately. I sense that there is an event or series of events coming into our lives, and I feel woefully inadequate for them. I know I'm not perfect, not qualified, not able, not ready.....not, not, NOT......
The thing is is that He doesn't want me to be ready, or qualified, or perfect, or able!
The Lord spoke to me and showed me that I have this complex, which probably every one of my dear friends has known forever, and this complex is that I feel like I constantly have to be perfect and excellent and wonderful all the time. I have this driving need to be above and beyond perfect. The June Cleaver mom and wife.
And what is so great is that yesterday the Lord spoke to me and told me that He doesn't want me to be any of those things. He showed me that all of the Heroes of Faith in the Bible were just ordinary, every day people. Flawed people. Not perfect. Not leaders.
He chose them because they were surrendered to Him. God can work with people who are flawed and chipped and torn and inadequate!
What a revelation to this tired soul!
He WANTS me imperfect. He WANTS me inadequate. He wants me to not be perfectly equipped.....
So He can do all of those things in me! He wants to work those things in me!
My spirit leaps for joy!
I've always thought He can only use me if I do this and this and that and oh, do that and oh, one more thing, you have to have this and that and that.........whew!
I finally realize the lie that I have been laboring under all of these years, and I'm on the cusp of finding out how to be used by my Father just as I am!
What great news to a heart that wants so badly to be used by God!
So, I ask for mountains with the full knowledge that I don't have to know how to climb them, for He will show me how along the way! I'll be mountain climbing under a mantle of peace and protection, being born on angel's wings lest I dash my foot against a stone (Psalm 91)
I now try to glory in my weaknesses and my challenges, knowing that's right where He wants me so that He can use me!
I'm becoming free!