Thanks for letting me be random and follow rabbit trails and meander in my thoughts. I appreciate those of you who are still reading my blog, even if you don't leave a comment for me. I feel like this is my own little corner of the world and I'm glad you all are sticking with me and getting to know me.
I do really wish I could post pictures again. The kids are growing up so fast and are changing so much. I feel like pictures make a blog so much more enjoyable and so much easier to read....I'm not sure if we'll have that ability again soon. We do have plans to get a new computer system next month, so we'll see. Anyway, we don't even have a camera or video cam either!
On to the real reason for this post.....
Pennie is in her high chair right now, eating frozen peas. I looked at her as I stood at the stove, and a wash of emotions came flowing through my heart. I can hear her sweet voice raised in the dining room and I listen to her talking and making her fun noises, and I am so thankful. I do believe, for the first time in my life, that I really KNOW what thankfulness and gratefulness really mean.
I'm thinking back tonight to the day of her birth. The Babies' births were not at all traumatic or hard or long physically, by any means. My first thought upon seeing Pennie for the very first time was that I couldn't believe she was so small. The first thing I said was "I'll be surprised if she tips the scale at even 7 lbs!" She weighed in at 5 lbs 13 oz. She was the tiniest baby I'd ever held, and I wasn' letting her go for anything, not even a bath!! So, she and I stayed glued together, skin-to-skin,for over two weeks. Those precious weeks spent holding her on my chest, smelling her sweet and unique smell and lavishing kisses on her downy soft head will live forever in my memory.
During my pregnacy with The Babies, and after Olivia died, my perinatologist told me that there was around a 25% chance that Pennie could suddenly die too, so they watched me, and her, like a hawk. I was in for a 2nd level ultrasound every two weeks. I loved seeing her! It was amazing! And, they were very gracious to let me see Olivia whenever I wanted to also, which was very, very bittersweet. We feel deeply that Pennie is a real miracle. And I am deeply appreciative of the doctor that ensured that nothing happened to her!
Tonight my heart squeezes with gratitude, for the great and merciful gift that God allowed us to have in Pennie. I am so overwhelmingly thankful that Pennie was allowed to be born alive to us. She fills her spot in our family to overflowing and her tiny feet and her beautiful smile fill our hearts with great joy. She really blesses us with a true glimpse of her sister, who awaits us in Heaven!
I'm amazed that next month, Pennie will be 1!! The year since her birth has flown by. We'll have a special celebration for our very, very special Girl!