Milestone

Today I've reached a milestone.

I'm 3 months pregnant!!

I made it.  I made it to the first important milestone!

To say I'm relieved is an understatement.

I can feel Baby moving around in there,  especially when I'm laying still, as I often do these days.  It's such a reassurance to me.  I'm pretty sure this baby is the most active baby I've had, already!!

I'm pretty tired! I'm blessed to have teens and I'm so thankful that I can sleep when I need to and they can take care of everything and I don't have to worry.

I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all of you who have prayed for me and continue to pray for me.  I appreciate it so much.  Please keep praying!

My next midwife appointment is in two weeks! Actually, 15 days to be exact, right on my husband's birthday! And I'll get to see Baby again.  She said I can have an ultrasound any time I want to ease my mind and to see Baby as much as I want.  She's a really fantastic midwife!

I just realized how early it is! I got up just before 6 because my body is unable to sleep past 5:30 or 6.  Sometimes I want to sleep all day.  I think I'll go back to bed and lay there.  It's my husband's day off today, so I think I'll stay in bed today.

Baby needs the rest, and so does Mama!

My Girl

My Girl.  My 10 year old girl who is so much older than that......there's a very special place in my heart for her.  There are so many things about her that are so enchanting and delightful and fetching.....

And her freckles? They melt my heart....She has alabaster complexion, but she has this fanciful sprinkle of golden fairy dust across her nose...the freckle picture is one of the most beautiful and eloquent pictures I've ever seen.  

I remember the day she was born, and now, to see the fringe of her eyelashes in the mellow light of sunset, to look at the gentle curve of her ruby lips.....my heart stalls at the thought that young womanhood is just around the corner for My Girl.  

Lord, I look so forward to her growing up....but Lord, don't hasten that day too quickly, for I am enthralled by the beauty and grace of My Girl-Child!



Pictures taken by Hannah J Gilchrist.  Reproduction or printing forbidden. Pictures copyright HJG 20013

Four

This is Lucie.

She's four.

This is what four looks like.

Sigh.

Pictures taken by Hannah J Gilchrist.  Reproduction forbidden.  Copyright HJG20013.  

Thoughts

Hey, I don't know if you noticed, but I put a Baby Ticker on my sidebar!!

I know it's super early in the pregnancy to do that, but I just HAD to! I love logging in to my blog and being able to see how many days are left and seeing that little baby grow in there! The pregnancy feels so much more official when I see the ticker, steadily ticking off the days.

Today begins my 11th week of pregnancy.  SO glad to be at this point. One more week and I'll officially be 3 months pregnant!

I was actually shopping for a maternity swimsuit the other day.  I was looking online.  Now friends, you must understand that I haven't worn a real swimsuit for hmmm, about a decade, and also, friends, let me say that things just do NOT look the same as they did back then!At almost 40, and with all of the babies this mama has had, well, I wonder if things are even in the right spots anymore??  Still, I felt the need to look for a swimsuit so I don't get left behind should we go to the beach on those rare, cherished hot summer days in Washington! I looked and looked, and let me tell you, I guess I am truly out of the loop because, HEAVENLY DAYS, I was sure the prices must be typos because man, a lot of them were at least a hundred bucks! I prefer a two piece thing with a little swim skirt, just to cover my road map thighs, and I prefer something that covers the necessities well.....needless to say, I'm still looking!

I tell you what, this pregnancy is kickin' my booty! I am SO tired!!! Just tired.  I go to bed a tiny bit too late, and some nights I'm visited by the bane of my existence, insomnia....plus, I have to get up to use the bathroom at least once in the middle of the night. I'm thinking, it's too early in the pregnancy to have insomnia! So, no matter what time I go to bed or how I sleep, my body wants to get up at 5:30! I drag myself out of bed and do stuff before the kids awake, and then, by 10:30 AM, if I sit down, I'm literally nodding off in the chair! I'm SO tired.  I'm waiting for the magical point where the tiredness goes away. Please Lord, let it be soon!

I wrote a post about pregnancy cravings.  I think they're so odd and so fun and so crazy! I like reading about what other mamas crave! I'm still pretty consistently craving Mexican food and coffee drinks.  One craving that's really recent and totally unusual for me is this: lately I've been making my special sausage gravy.  Now, the funny thing is, I don't even LIKE sausage gravy and I can't STAND to cook the sausage right now, but Daddy had a long weekend and it was his request, and I also made some for dinner one night too.  I was NOT going to eat it, but it looked so good (for some reason) that I tried it, and now I'm wanting it all the time.  Strange.  This morning I'm going to make two pieces of Udi's toast, two eggs over medium (another odd thing for me) and I'm gonna slap some of that luscious gravy on top! 

I'm still drooling over my Old Navy online shopping cart.  Sometimes I go online and look at it, just to see everything in it and just to see if I need to edit it and take something out, and I just want everything in there and think everything is darling and can't leave any of it! Sigh.....

I think my nausea is getting better. Now, just so you now, and please don't hate me, but I never, ever have gotten morning-or-any-other-time-of-day sickness with any pregnancy but the twins.  This time, I've been pretty nauseated.  Like, don't-touch-me nauseated, without being able to do anything about it.  You know the type, when your very teeth are nauseated? That's letting up. I only get hit with it now when it's time to make dinner! Yeah, fun! I feel so sorry for those mamas who can't do anything but throw up.  God decided I wouldn't be like that, but anytime nausea isn't fun either....like I said, don't hate me!

My friend Laura got me an outfit out of my Old Navy online cart, and I was totally surprised and I cried when she told me she had done it! Let me tell you, it is the most comfortable outfit I have ever worn.  I could easily wear it to bed too! I wore the skirt a few times and put it in the dirty clothes, and now it's missing!!!! It is the softest, most comfortable and most versatile skirt ever in the world, and I can't find it!!!!!! So I've been without my favorite skirt for about a week or so. I know, it's a matter for prayer.

Well, I guess that's all of the random thoughts on this pregnancy that I have for today.  I do have another recipe to post and I want to do a post on my daughter Kellie, with some pictures that Hannah took, but I don't want to scare you by posting twice in one day, so I'll spread those out over this week, as soon as I figure out how to find the pictures Hannah took! Computers......sigh!

A to Z

I got the idea for this from another gal's blog, and I'm not sure where she got it, but I thought it looked fun, and I wanted to do another post, so here we go!

Available or single?
I've been married for 19 years and 9 months.  Our 20th anniversary is in September.

Book?
One of my favorite authors is Jan Karon.  She wrote the Mitford series, with Father Timothy Kavanaugh.  I love these books and have read them several times.  I have most of them in hardback because hardback books are my favorite, preferably first edition.  I also love Ruth Bell Graham.

Cake or pie?
I love cake, gluten free.  I love my own gluten free pumpkin cake, carrot cake, two layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and strawberries.....so yes, I'm a cake girl.

Drink of choice?
My favorite drink is an exclusive blended coffee drink from my favorite coffee place. You can't get it anywhere else. It's a triple shot decaf mocha with coconut and caramel. MMMM!!

Essential item?
My red pouch.  It's in my purse and it has all of my essential items in it, like my driver's license and stuff like that, plus my two favorite lip glosses.  Oh, and I seriously miss paper towels when I don't have them!

Favorite color?
I love espresso brown.  Fall colors are also my favorite with a splash of turquoise.

Hometown?
I don't have to be specific on this one.  I live in a mid-sized town in SW Washington State.

Indulgence?
My coffee drink.  

Job?
Follower of Christ, stay at home mama, wife, homeschool teacher, Pennie snuggler, baby grower, errand runner, grocery shopper. Not much!

Kids and names?
We have 8.5 kids, and their names and pictures are listed on my side bar.

Life is incomplete without......?
My kids and husband.

Music group or singer?
My favorite singer has always been Celine Dion.  The first time I saw her she was on the Arsenio Hall show many, many years ago, and she sang "Where Does My Heart Beat Now", and I'll be honest, I cried because her voice brought goosebumps!! I also like Julie Andrews.  But there are SO many groups and singers I like!! But those are two of my favorites.

Number of siblings?
I have an older brother who is two years older than me whom I have not seen or talked to in more than 7 years.  He lives in Texas.  When I was 18, I found out I had a younger brother who lived in Illinois.  He's 16 months younger and I haven't seen or talked to him in at least 7 years also.

Oranges or apples?
I love oranges.  I grew up in Southern California and lived there until I was 13, and oranges and peaches and nectarines were abundant and common all year around where I lived.  I love the smell of an orange grove in the twilight.

Phobias or fears?
I don't live with any phobias or fears that consume me.  My worst nightmare used to be one of my children dying, and we've experienced two stillbirths and 4 miscarriages, and we've gotten through it, and it's no longer my biggest fear.  I don't really have any big fears that plague me.

Quote?
"To love another person is to see the face of God" from Les Miserables, The Epilogue. This keeps echoing in my head lately.  I think that when you truly love, God walks into the room and inhabits the regions of your heart.  And when you give birth to a little life, God is there.

Season?
Easy! Hands down, my favorite season is Autumn.  The leaves, the tang in the air, the woodsmoke, the chill, the first glittering frosts.....

Tattoos?
I'm probably going to offend a lot of people here, but I think that MOST tattoos are hideous and I always think about what those tattoos are going to look like when the person is 70 and old and wrinkled. I DO NOT hate people with tattoos!!!!!  I will never get a tattoo.  However, I do think that people who are tattoo artists are very good artists and are misplacing their talent.  I guess I have the opinion that my body is the temple of God, as the Bible says, and I wouldn't want to walk into His temple and start writing on the walls and drawing pictures on the walls.  That said, my voice teacher has a couple of very, very tiny black tattoos, mostly Asian characters.  They're not offensive.  Still, I'd never do it.  My husband delivers to a guy who has every single square inch of his skin, including his scalp, covered with tattoos.  It is gross.  I'll get off this soapbox now!

Unknown fact?
I had heart surgery when I was 2 years old.  I had Patent Ductus Arteriosis, which is a valve in your heart that won't close.  I also had herniated ovaries repaired.  The doctors didn't think I'd ever be able to have children.  HA! My surgery was done by Dr Savage, who was a famous pediatric surgeon in Seattle. I have an 8 inch scar under my left shoulder blade to remind me.

Veggies that I love?
Really, there are too many to name all of them...... tomatoes, celery, cucumbers, broccoli, cabbage, every kind of lettuce.....avocados.....I'm a veggie girl, and it comes from growing up in Southern CA, having every veggie always available really fresh.

Worst habit?
My very worst habit and most revolting personality trait is laziness.

X-rays?
Way too many to count!

Zodiac?
I'm a Cancer, and so is my husband, but this means absolutely nothing to me.  It's stupid but I needed to answer the question.

That was fun!! Now I'll look forward to reading this on your blog.....Tag, you're it!!

Update

Okay, here's the first Baby Update!!

You know, the thing that I keep thinking about is that I was peaceful yesterday.  That's what I keep thinking about.  It's what amazes me so far, that through this whole pregnancy, I've had so much peace.  I've had a settled, peaceful heart.  My mind has been peaceful.  My thoughts have been peaceful.  I'm just overwhelmed by peacefulness.

Now let me say that this peace is incredibly unlike me.  Every pregnancy that I've had for the past 9 years has been fraught with anxiety, fear, terror, nightmares, tears, and a general, overall feeling of unrest.  Pregnancy for the past 9 years has not been fun for me as it ought to be.  So this unexpected peace just hits me every day as so welcome!

So, let's get on to the the reason why you're reading this post, shall we?? I promise I'm not trying to stall or draw it out or make you crazy, I just can't stop marveling at the blanket of peace that has settled over me!

On this first visit to my midwife, I wasn't sure exactly how long it would take me to get there, so I left the house with enough of a time cushion in case I got lost.  I didn't want to be rushed and frantic! 

I also gave in to my weakness and got my favorite coffee drink on the way!!

My midwife lives about 45 minutes away, and I borrowed my father-in-law's wife's car, because our van is still broken down.  I took my daughter Samantha, who is 14, with me. I  had asked her to come with me earlier in the month, but then I started to have second thoughts in case there was something wrong.  So, I asked her if she still wanted to come, even in the event of bad news, and she said yes.  We set out and I was STILL not nervous!!!

It turns out that we got there a HALF HOUR early!!! I misjudged how long it would take and how much time I'd need to get there!! We sat down in her waiting room and I fully expected to get hit with a wave of terror and anxiety.....but I never did!

The midwife has a great fish tank full of huge gold fish and she has an extensive book collection, so we sat and watched the fish and gazed at all of the books and listened to the relaxing music playing on the sound system.

Finally, she called us back.

The peace did NOT let up!

I laid down on the bed and she asked me a couple of questions while she got the gel ready.  She didn't make me wait for the ultrasound.  She knew my history and she probably thought I was freaking out.  So I laid down and she gooped the gel on my tummy and placed the wand on me.

And I saw the most wonderful miracle in the world right away, on that screen.

Our baby!

Our baby was waving and kicking and squirming around in there like there was party music playing! The midwife was exclaiming at how good Baby looked and how much we could see, even being only 2.5 months along.

She said that the fact that Baby was squirming that way meant that there was nothing wrong with the spine.  

We could see tiny fingers and little teenie feet, even though her ultrasound machine must be at least 20 years old or more.  I was definitely not expecting to see as much as we did!

She said the placenta looked amazing and healthy for this stage in the game.  She said she likes to see what looks like a layer cake, with the placenta, the fluid and the baby, and she likes to see 1/3 of each.  The ratio of placenta/fluid/Baby in my tummy was more than perfect.  It astonished her! She let us look for as long as we wanted, and she really loved looking at Baby too!

Then we took the doppler and began to listen for the heartbeat.  Since Baby was dancing around in there so much, we could only hear the heartbeat for a couple of seconds before we would lose it, and then we'd find it again, then we'd lose it, and this was how it went for about a half hour.  The doppler told us that Baby's heart rate was 143, even though we couldn't hear it for more than a couple of seconds.  She said that was perfect and she wasn't worried that we didn't hear it constantly.  She had seen the heart on the ultrasound and she saw Baby partying in there, so she was totally certain everything was awesome.

Listen, I'm not sure I can explain what that whole experience did for me.  First of all, the midwife was incredibly compassionate and very, very understanding.  She was calm, confident, peaceful, and very, very kind.  There was nothing clinical or abrupt about her. I saw her treat each one of her patients like good friends.  She was so happy that things looked so good in there and that made my day.  

While we were looking at Baby on the ultrasound, Baby was just rockin' away, and I mentioned that I had felt my second baby, Hannah, move at 13 weeks.  She said that with this Baby moving so much and so strongly, Baby would kick the fluid and the fluid would do the ripple effect that happens when you throw a pebble into a pond, and with the good amount of fluid I have, it would bang the side of my uterus, and I ought to be feeling movement already!!!!! Hmmm, so those ripples I've been feeling weren't just huge muscle spasms! Amazing. And sometimes I feel tiny pokes and vibrations.  

Sigh.

My blood pressure is perfect.  My weight, eh, not so much, but she said it isn't important how much I weigh right now, what's important is trying not to gain too much weight, since I'm officially overweight for my body frame at the start of this pregnancy.

Sigh.

Upon seeing our baby, this light, airy bubble inflated under my feet and let me tell you, I was ecstatic.  I almost burst into tears.  I praised God out loud.  I lifted my hands right there, right on the bed, in that room.  I told God how grateful I am and how good He is.  I thanked Him for this baby.  

She has these awesome butterflies hanging from the ceiling above the bed, and they're different sizes, but they look like fairy wing butterflies, and I felt like one of those ethereal butterflies as I lay there!

Sigh.  Yes, there has been a lot of dreamy sighing from me!!

I think I floated home.

I feel as though I've been given the go-ahead to officially start planning for this baby.  I feel as though it's just okay now. It was like an early birthday present to get to see our baby.

And the peace? It never left.  It still flows.  I'm engulfed, enveloped, surrounded.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it's because of all of your prayers for me and Baby this whole time.  I know that, as the Bible says, whenever two or more come together in agreement, He is there in the middle of them.  Now, we may not all be holding hands in the same room and looking at each other, but I feel that we're together in our hearts, in our spirits.

That is the most important thing to me! Your prayers, and the strength that flows over me because of them, is priceless and immeasurable and I cherish them deeply!!!!!!!

Another awesome thing is that my dearest friend, who lives south of me, is also pregnant after such heartache and struggle.  She's much further along then I am, and she also went to her midwife yesterday and her baby boy is looking fantastic and she was given the green light to be able to give birth safely in just two weeks!!!!!! That was just another piece of joy for my heart!

So, it looks like we're going to get to hold and snuggle and kiss on our baby come Christmas time!!! 

And I couldn't be more ecstatic and peaceful!

Wednesday

My first midwife appointment is coming up on Wednesday at 12:30 PM.

I'll get blood work done, plus we'll do an ultrasound and listen for Baby's heartbeat.

The closer it gets, the more nervous I become!!!!

I want there to be a cozy little baby in there.  I want to see Baby wiggling and waving in there.  I want to hear Baby's heartbeat loud and clear and strong! 

Please, if you remember, please pray for me.  I think Baby is healthy and thriving, based on the way I feel, which is pretty icky.  I know that you gals out there are praying gals, and so, I ask you to pray.  I gain a lot of comfort from knowing that my friends are praying for me, and for Baby too.

We even have a girl name and a boy name picked out!!!

I love this baby.