Pictures!!

Okay, here we are! For everyone who is waiting for pictures of our Precious Pennie Jane.

These pictures are not of her when she was brand new.  I think we do have a few of those, but I'm not sure where they are, and anyway, WHO wants to see pictures of our toilet??

We've pretty much been sitting like this since Sunday, after I got into bed.  She couldn't be sweeter.  I still marvel at how small and delicate she is.  She's almost 2 lbs less than Lucie was at birth.  I sit here and marvel at the shell-like whorls of ears that are smaller than quarters, and as fine as rose petals, and I caress her tiny head and am in awe that it is no bigger than my hand.  My heart thrills at the perfect curve of every minute-sized fingernail.  I smooth my finger over the porcelain softness of her cheek and kiss her sweet nose and I am so thankful that all the waiting and wondering and worrying are over and now, this is the reward I've been chosen to nurture.  

We were so surprised at how small she is.  After all, we were assured that she'd be at least 8 lbs, according to the fact that she wasn't going to be crushed by her sister in the womb, and all of our other babies have been right around the 8 lb mark.  So, she hasn't had any clothes on yet because nothing fits! And the newborn diapers? They're huge.  Not only is she very small, but she's very delicate too, not having any fat on her at all.  The fact of the matter is, my body knew she was a twin, and Olivia probably would have been right around the same size, so she's twin sized.  I love her just the way she is. She's basically no longer than my forearm!

We're both doing well.  She is a really good nurser, although a somewhat sleepy one!! My milk is in, and I remember how I must take it easy on my diet so as to give her little tummy a chance to adjust, so it's a pretty bland diet for me for the first month or so.  She and I will be going to the chiropractor tomorrow to get adjusted and I know that will help her tummy issues clear up.  She's a bit jaundiced so I have been laying her in patches of sunlight (what little there are, as we woke up to snow this morning!) on my bed and nursing every couple of hours.  

I am slowly recovering.  Girls, let me tell you, even though my labor, when it kicked in at 7:30 Sunday morning, wasn't that long, it was INTENSE and tough and my body feels that!! My family has given me leave to lounge in bed like a pampered queen for as long as I want to.  My muscles are sore and I'm pretty tired and weak.  I've decided to live without Tylenol for the duration of the recovery period, due to Pennie's tummy issues.  My family is taking really good care of me.  Can I just say how much I love my bed? A good bed is really important! And can I just say how much my family has been a real Godsend?

So, thanks for being patient with me as I didn't get the pictures up right away.  Dave's going to be off for about 5 weeks and he's taking the opportunity to be attached to his computer, doing important Man of the Farm things.  I just shiver with delight (and I'm serious here!) as I think of having my husband here for that long! I really do look forward to it, mostly because he gets to catch up on things and he'll get some good rest and the kids love it when he's here!! 

Talk to you all soon, and in the meantime, eat some good Mexican food for me, since I won't be doing that for a while! Hasta Luego!!

  

Sunday Suprise

Hey, guess what?

Pennie Jane is here!


She arrived this morning at 9:29 AM, after some very, VERY intense contractions.


She weighs 5 lbs 13 oz, making her the smallest Gilchrist baby.


We're both snuggled up in our bed, having some absolutely fantastic skin-to-skin contact.


We don't have a length measurement yet, but we will soon!


Can I just say how relieved I am???


Pictures coming soon!

Please Pray

Okay, it's almost 6 AM and still no baby......

I actually think she turned and is now transverse, which means she's sideways!!!

I'm not feeling any pressure where I was feeling pressure (if you know what I mean) and I haven't had really any good contractions for a while.

Babies can and do turn during labor.....But I thought I'd have Pennie by now.

Please pray with me that she will turn back to head down.  She has been head down since about 32 weeks and so I don't know how she would turn to transverse, but I'm suspecting by the way my belly feels and how labor has kind of stalled.  PRAY that she turns very soon.  Thank you!!!

Still Here

I'm still here.....nothing is happening yet.

This is truly such an odd experience for me.  Totally in unchartered waters here.

I have realized lately that I have been guilty of not letting God be God in my life and with my circumstances.  Just in the past couple of days I have been surrendering this to Him.  Oh, it' so hard! Particularly in the area of my labor and delivery.  I'm so afraid of having a hard labor, baby getting stuck, bleeding tons, and on and on and on......that I was holding tightly to my fears and worries and anxieties, and being so miserable in the process.  I mean, God is not suddenly going to step off His throne and tell me "see ya, I'm not God anymore!"  He's God no matter who wants Him to be God or not.....but the tough part is letting Him be sovereign in my life, in my circumstances! The key is ASKING Him to be God, to take all of this from me, to bear this heavy burden for me........to have His own way.  I was terrified to do that, even though I felt Him nudging me that that is exactly what I needed to do, because I was sure disaster would happen as soon as I gave over control to Him.  Silly.  Ridiculous! Such pride and over confidence in my own "ways"! Like I myself actually know better than the righteous God of the universe, the Alpha and Omega, the One Who neither sleeps nor slumbers on my behalf, the One Who loves me as His very own!!

I've been trying to actively remedy the situation and trying to remember to give Him everything, each step of the way, every thought I think, every feeling I have.

I don't know if any of you all struggle with things like that, but in a previous, recent post, I mentioned that I'd like prayer for major heart issues, and that's it in a nutshell.  If you do struggle with things like that, I want you to know that you are not alone.  God does not close His eyes and turn away from you or me.  He cares so much about your thoughts and feelings and musings.  He knows them before you think them.....so you may as well talk with Him about them.  He neither condemns you or blames you or hates you.  Come to Him and give Him all your broken pieces and all of your areas you hold away from Him.
He manages them better than we do anyway!! Let His love soak your heart, and get to know Him as your manager, your leader, your navigator.

On another note:  Pennie's moving around well.  She is apparently not in a hurry to be born, nor is my body apparently ready to give her up.  I'm not going to try any natural interventions, I will just let my body figure this out.  Like I said, this is quite the new experience for me! I appreciate all of you prayer warriors out there, who have taken the time to leave me comments and let me know you're praying for me.  One last thing:  Mrs.S, if you're reading this post, I feel deeply honored that you stopped by my blog to let me know you're praying.  I have tried to get in touch with you! I really would like your email or access to your blog again, if you feel comfortable with that.  If not, thank you dearly for praying for me!!

Talk to you all soon!!

Hello

Well.....

I went to the bathroom a couple of hours ago.....

And much to my great surprise.....

My water broke!

I believe that was about 2 or so hours ago.  I'm not having any contractions yet, aside from little teenie period type cramps sometimes.  

This is odd for me.  My water only broke with Russell, and right before Lucie was born.  

Everything is fine.  I'm comfortable.  I'm having gushes every so often.

Other than that, nothing is really happening yet.

BUT please continue to pray for continued peace and strength and serenity.

I'll try to update regularly.

Bye!

Look!

Guess what??


I figured it out! I figured out how to change the background!


Are you proud of me??


I was sitting here today and I just thought that I had to give it one more try.


And it worked.  It worked! I was kinda proud of myself.


I would like to change the header picture.  I would like it if the space for posts was narrower and the sidebars were wider.  But it's okay.  I know how to change the header picture, so that will be easy.  It's just doing it!


In other topics......It's so hard to wait for my husband to come home from work every day.  No longer does he work three minutes away from home.  It seems like forever, some days.  I really do believe that God has placed him in my life to be a tangible example of the stability, strength and peace of the Lord.  He displays all of those qualities to me and really calms me when I need calming (which is a lot these days!)  I praise God for an earthly example of all of God's beautiful personality traits such as my husband.


I'm still pregnant.


Please continue to pray for me as I navigate major heart issues and learn to trust God with every breath.


It's raining here.  Oh, what a surprise!


I deeply desire sleep tonight, and for Pennie to settle down and go to sleep and stop moving and twirling and doing gymnastics.  That's what keeps me awake.


Somebody please hit me over the head and wake me up when Pennie is here.


Thanks!

New Background

It's that time of year again, when I must choose a new background for the blog.

Yes, I've made my choice.  Yes, I've copied the code.

Only, when I try to paste exactly according to the website instructions.......

IT NEVER WORKS!!!!

I have tried many, many times for many, MANY hours.

WHAT am I doing wrong?? It sounds so easy.  Go here.  Click here.  Choose this.  Paste code. Done!

Only it never works for me.

So, I have resigned myself to a blank background, after trying one day for over 4 HOURS to get it to work!!

I know, I'm a computer retard. I wear the moniker with humility!

Haphazard

Things that are on my mind today:

• I'm searching for a tiny bird charm so that we can make a bracelet in memory for Olivia, to be given to Pennie and also used in a photo shoot that may happen when Pennie is 2 weeks old.  A tiny bird just reminds me of Olivia and is so sweet and delicate and as soon as I found out she had died the image of a bird came to me, with stick legs and a small fat body, just an outline.  Haven't found the perfect charm yet...
• I had the chance to read the Pioneer Woman's book "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels".  Not my favorite book of the year.  Now, this is just MY honest thoughts about the book! Don't bombard me with nasty emails because I didn't like it! I finished it in two hours.  It was too simply written for my taste.  Dare I say it was a bit too trashy for my taste too? I wouldn't recommend it.
• Thank God for blue sky days after days and days and DAYS of rain and gray and gloomy! 
• When Janie was born still, we had a big memorial service for her, and we always pick a color for our stillborn babies, and hers was pink.  For Olivia, I picked light purple.  My friend gave us a fluffy, cozy purple blanket at my shower, and I immediately knew it was for Olivia.  We will wrap her in it when she's born and transport her to our hometown funeral home, where she will be buried right next to Janie.  The blanket is on the shelf in the closet, waiting for Delivery Day.
• We will have a small, very private service for Olivia at the same chapel where we had Janie's.  The very wonderful grief counselors and directors who arrange these things already have a floral spray arrangement in mind for her, for the top of her box.  We will not be inviting anyone, just us.
• It's so hard to make the kids do schoolwork on such a nice day, when all they want to do is go outside! I wonder if I'll get in trouble from the Principal??
• Last night, Lucie came out of the girls' room clutching her arm and sobbing....she couldn't be consoled and she was refusing to use her arm or move it and was holding on to it.  At bed time she was inconsolable and we gave her Tylenol. We checked her arm out and it wasn't swollen or red or anything, and nobody knew what happened.  She slept on and off and would wake up crying, until Dave put her in bed with us.  She slept there for a bit then he put her back to bed, where she settled down and slept.  I was going to take her in today because we feared her arm was either broken or fractured.  When she woke up this morning, she was perfectly fine! PRAISE GOD! I think either her elbow or shoulder was out of joint and she must have turned over in the night and popped it back in.  She's back to her cheerful, happy self now!
• I'm tired of being fearful and letting fear of labor and delivery consume me.  The bottom line is I'm living in sin by living in fear and anxiety.  So, working on standing against the fear!
• I keep having dreams where I am in the final stage of labor and Pennie's coming and I put my hand down there and cradle her head and catch her body.
• I slept soooo good last night!
• I can't wait to be on the other side of having a baby! I'm looking forward to an excuse to be lazy and unproductive!I need nursing jammies, nursing bras, nursing tanks and some stretchy capris to wear after Pennie's born.  I hate that sloppy, milk-soaked, disheveled feeling after having a baby.  I want to be pretty and not have to sleep in Dave's old shirts and wake up soaked.  I picked out some stuff online and hopefully I'll get to order it soon.

Wow, I didn't know my brain could hold all of that! It's time for me to call the girls in and admonish them to get something done!

20 Things

I just read my friend Emily's post, and she posted about some things she *doesn't* miss from her past.

I thought I'd do that too! I won't link to Em's blog in this post because if you go to my sidebar you can find her there!

So, here we go:

1. Working outside the home.  I've been a stay at home mom for almost 16 years now, and I'll never go back!
2. The first two months of our marriage when we were both working and really, really struggling financially.
3. My husband coming home smelling like the mills.  GAG! He was a security guard at one of our hometown mills.  
4. Being in school.  I despised school. I was such a misfit and SO did NOT want to be there! About the only subjects I loved were French and sometimes language.
5. Taking Russell to preschool every day.  Hannah was small and I was pregnant with Samantha.  Super tough.  And I'd have to wake the two girls up from their naps and pile them in the car to go pick Russell up in the afternoons.  Thank You, Lord for leading us to homeschool.
6. Living in a 700 sq ft slummy, scummy, trashy duplex with two bedrooms and 3-going-on-4 kids. 
7. The two long weeks Russell was in the NICU after he was born.
8. Regular bread.
9. Cutting my own kids' and husband's hair.  I was horrible at it.  I mean, to the point where I am glad that I didn't ruin their hair for life! Poor Dave.  He had to endure going to work with one whole chunk shaved out of his head.  Thank You, Lord for Christy King!!
10. Living in the city.
11.  City water.
12. The days when I had no idea that my Sara couldn't see.  She was basically significantly vision impaired, and I had NO IDEA.  I cried in the doctor's office when I realized it.  She has glasses now, problem solved!!
13. Dating. Ugh.
14. Being Single.  I still look at Dave and just cannot believe we're really here and he's really mine.
15. Eating McDonald's and Burger King food.  Gag me.  And if you really knew what was in their stuff, you'd be gagged too.
16. Being a teenager.
17. California.
18. The same weather every single day.  Sunny, blue sky, no seasons, the same temp all the time.  Now that I live in a real place with real seasons and diverse climate (well, diverse to me), I realize how monotonous that was!
19. Not having my driver's license.
20. And..........the last thing I do not miss is being without children, and only having three children.  My big family is so much fun and such a balm to my heart that I could never, never go back.  Praise God for my children!

Now, your turn! What are some things you don't miss? And soon I'll do a post about some things I do miss.

Caving In!

Okay, so I read some blogs, and a few of them are Southern Gals.  To me, Arkansas is the South.  And Alabama.  And Mississippi.  Down that far yonder seems like another country to me! Even Tennessee seems like the Deep South! And Georgia?? Yeah.  That region is so mystifying to me! I love how they talk down there.  I love their home cookin'.  I love their sense of tradition and their love of their families.

I've noticed too that they dress their kids and babies in certain ways, with lots of smocking and embroidery and monogramming and with nods to a more vintage era.  Time was, I just thought monogrammed clothing was so....well, preppy and fussy and, oh, proper??

Well.

I think you can guess where I'm going with this post!!

I've given in!

I've changed my mind!

I've caved!

With the impending arrival of Pennie, I just can't stop thinking about something with her sweet initials on it!

Marsha, it's YOUR fault! The dollies you gave to my babies started my mind wandering....and so, I can blame my new craving on you! Ha.

I have something in my mind: a leopard or cheetah print corduroy jumper dress with a baby pink long sleeved onesie, and a baby pink ruffle around the bottom, and Pennie's monogram (PJG) on the bodice.  Maybe some bows on the shoulders, or big buttons, with a matching pair of ruffled, longer bloomers that can be seen below the dress, maybe with a big heart on the tushie.....in a very small size, like 3-6 or 0-3 months.  I think a matching head band would be delicious too.  She is so special to us, so unique, that I really wanted to make that known in a tangible way.

The problem is, every site I've looked online, their dresses start at about $35.00!!!!! And that's for just the simple, pillowcase style, with no extras or frills.  A two-piece set ran more along the lines of $50.00.  Yikes.

And, I don't sew, so if I want such a cute creation, I'm kinda at the mercy of those prices.

It's overwhelming to see the large amount of online stores and sites that sell stuff like that.  I stopped after the 5th site I went to, just tired of looking!

Do you have any particular sites you love?

I'm also thinking about my seamstress daughter making something like that for me.  She sews with my dear mother in law and is actually very accomplished.  I've asked her, and I think she's interested.  She just has "sew many" things she wants to sew.......(forgive me for the corny pun).

I can see the cute dress set so clearly in my head.

Any ideas?

I'll let you know what happens!

PS: Today begins the 30 day countdown to my due date! Excited.  Scared.  Totally can't wait to get my hands on her!