I think some days of this 31 Day Challenge will see me being one day behind!
Today I'm going to share my friend Tesha's blog post. Her story is amazing and she is dear to my heart, even though we've never met in person and even though she lives far away from me…she's still dear to me.
This post that she wrote hit my so hard, right where I needed it, right when I'm finally ready to hear it.
It's beautiful.
I hope you like it.
Fasting and Finding Out I AM Enough!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Today
Today has been a splendid day.
This day marks the last day of my husband's two week vacation.
The weather has amazingly cooperated to enwreath us in golden sunshiney days with an abundant, arching blue sky to smile benevolently over the long days. Each day's bolstering breeze blew through our thriving green garden with such sweetness, one would think it was the very breath of God!
As I nursed Jack over this two week sojourn, everything seemed a bit more joyful inside of me. As I gazed through indebted eyes at the ivory curve of breast against my sweet, small son's softly curved cheek, I found myself resting more fully. Drinking in the velvety, dark curl of his lashes, contentment rose up within me.
This is where God's will is found for me, right here in the seemingly mundane.
You know, my foot may slip a bit and my heart may grow faint and overwhelmed. My strength may momentarily desert me and flag slightly as I walk along this daunting road of motherhood, but I find myself more steadfast on this day, and into the coming days, because of this:
"If I say 'my foot slips,'
Your mercy, O Lord
will hold me up.
In the multitude
of my anxieties
within me,
Your comforts
delight my soul!"
Psalm 94:18
This day marks the last day of my husband's two week vacation.
The weather has amazingly cooperated to enwreath us in golden sunshiney days with an abundant, arching blue sky to smile benevolently over the long days. Each day's bolstering breeze blew through our thriving green garden with such sweetness, one would think it was the very breath of God!
As I nursed Jack over this two week sojourn, everything seemed a bit more joyful inside of me. As I gazed through indebted eyes at the ivory curve of breast against my sweet, small son's softly curved cheek, I found myself resting more fully. Drinking in the velvety, dark curl of his lashes, contentment rose up within me.
This is where God's will is found for me, right here in the seemingly mundane.
You know, my foot may slip a bit and my heart may grow faint and overwhelmed. My strength may momentarily desert me and flag slightly as I walk along this daunting road of motherhood, but I find myself more steadfast on this day, and into the coming days, because of this:
"If I say 'my foot slips,'
Your mercy, O Lord
will hold me up.
In the multitude
of my anxieties
within me,
Your comforts
delight my soul!"
Psalm 94:18
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Salsa
I missed posting yesterday!
It was Grocery Shopping Day for me and it was pretty busy. I left the house at 8 AM with 2 of my girls and we just meandered through our store. I forgot my grocery list and wanted to be certain that I was getting everything that was in my mind and not in my mind, so I just wandered.
It was really nice!
I arrived back home at 10:30 and took my son to a yard working job he has in the adjacent town. I took Jack with me because he had just woken up from his nap and he had to eat, somewhere along the way! I dropped Russell off at his job and then was 5 minutes late meeting my friend for lunch.
A little rabbit trail here: It sounds strange, but I've yet to master the nursing-in-public-with-a-blanket thing! I know! After nursing 8 children you think I should be a pro, huh? No dice. At lunch with my friend Jack decided that he was okay to wait for a while (sweetie man) and this gave me time to scarf my little bacon cheeseburger without a bun, and then I grappled and wrangled him under the blanket and fed him!
But then I had to pick my son up and rush home and find something nice for the younger girls to wear because last night was Kellie's end of the season violin recital.
So in between making sure that everyone ages 8 and under looked decent, I made dinner. We ate dinner very quickly and then took 3 trips to the church where the recital took place. Yes, 3 trips. That's what you have to do when your only car is a 5-seater sedan and you have a Large Family!
I also fed Jack at the Very Last Minute, while everyone was being shuttled to said church…..and he may even have finished his feeding in the backseat while Daddy rocketed fiercely through town….but don't tell anyone!
That's why I didn't blog yesterday.
Today I thought I'd do something easy and share my recipe for salsa. I like to think up original recipes. I'm kind of weird like that. I love cookbooks and have several very pretty cookbooks with lots of good ideas in them, but I seldom use cookbooks because recipes confuse me! However, I love to cook so I come up with my own recipes and write them down.
Here's the recipe for my salsa. This is the easiest, quickest salsa ever and it freezes well!
**Note that this recipe is very mild. Of course you can adjust the heat level by adding in any chile you want, but I love the mild stuff. It's also super convenient and cheap because it calls for canned diced tomatoes! And one more thing: in place of the fresh lemon, you can use 1/4 C bottled lemon juice, such as Santa Cruz Organic Lemon Juice**
Mama's Blender Salsa
3 cans diced tomatoes
1/2 of a sweet onion
1 can diced green chiles
1 generous handful cilantro, chopped
3 cloves garlic, paper removed and smashed with the back of a knife
1 fresh lemon, juiced
Salt, to taste (I use kosher salt)
Add all of the ingredients to the container of your blender. Process until the ingredients are well blended. Taste and adjust the salt, if desired. Freeze in cup sized portions in freezer bags or freezer containers. This salsa is great used as a sauce for enchiladas!
**More notes: I've also canned this salsa using the water bath method. It's wonderful that way too, and the water bath method is safe for salsas due to the acids from the tomatoes and the lemon juice. If you're using the water bath canning method, I always pour my salsa into a large pan and warm it on the stove until it's steaming and then I pour it into my pint sized jars. It makes about three pints or so, and you can double or triple the recipe!**
It was Grocery Shopping Day for me and it was pretty busy. I left the house at 8 AM with 2 of my girls and we just meandered through our store. I forgot my grocery list and wanted to be certain that I was getting everything that was in my mind and not in my mind, so I just wandered.
It was really nice!
I arrived back home at 10:30 and took my son to a yard working job he has in the adjacent town. I took Jack with me because he had just woken up from his nap and he had to eat, somewhere along the way! I dropped Russell off at his job and then was 5 minutes late meeting my friend for lunch.
A little rabbit trail here: It sounds strange, but I've yet to master the nursing-in-public-with-a-blanket thing! I know! After nursing 8 children you think I should be a pro, huh? No dice. At lunch with my friend Jack decided that he was okay to wait for a while (sweetie man) and this gave me time to scarf my little bacon cheeseburger without a bun, and then I grappled and wrangled him under the blanket and fed him!
But then I had to pick my son up and rush home and find something nice for the younger girls to wear because last night was Kellie's end of the season violin recital.
So in between making sure that everyone ages 8 and under looked decent, I made dinner. We ate dinner very quickly and then took 3 trips to the church where the recital took place. Yes, 3 trips. That's what you have to do when your only car is a 5-seater sedan and you have a Large Family!
I also fed Jack at the Very Last Minute, while everyone was being shuttled to said church…..and he may even have finished his feeding in the backseat while Daddy rocketed fiercely through town….but don't tell anyone!
That's why I didn't blog yesterday.
Today I thought I'd do something easy and share my recipe for salsa. I like to think up original recipes. I'm kind of weird like that. I love cookbooks and have several very pretty cookbooks with lots of good ideas in them, but I seldom use cookbooks because recipes confuse me! However, I love to cook so I come up with my own recipes and write them down.
Here's the recipe for my salsa. This is the easiest, quickest salsa ever and it freezes well!
**Note that this recipe is very mild. Of course you can adjust the heat level by adding in any chile you want, but I love the mild stuff. It's also super convenient and cheap because it calls for canned diced tomatoes! And one more thing: in place of the fresh lemon, you can use 1/4 C bottled lemon juice, such as Santa Cruz Organic Lemon Juice**
Mama's Blender Salsa
3 cans diced tomatoes
1/2 of a sweet onion
1 can diced green chiles
1 generous handful cilantro, chopped
3 cloves garlic, paper removed and smashed with the back of a knife
1 fresh lemon, juiced
Salt, to taste (I use kosher salt)
Add all of the ingredients to the container of your blender. Process until the ingredients are well blended. Taste and adjust the salt, if desired. Freeze in cup sized portions in freezer bags or freezer containers. This salsa is great used as a sauce for enchiladas!
**More notes: I've also canned this salsa using the water bath method. It's wonderful that way too, and the water bath method is safe for salsas due to the acids from the tomatoes and the lemon juice. If you're using the water bath canning method, I always pour my salsa into a large pan and warm it on the stove until it's steaming and then I pour it into my pint sized jars. It makes about three pints or so, and you can double or triple the recipe!**
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Right Now
Right now I'm…….
Seeing: My computer screen
Hearing: I'm hearing the hum of the fans in our room, the younger girls' room and the living room. They cool our house in the evenings and help some of the children to sleep!
Smelling: I'm smelling Tangy Tangerine, my vitamin drink that I have every morning, and Valor, the Young Living Essential oil that I put on this morning. It's kind of a cedar smell and it's a blend that helps me so much with anxiety and being calm.
Tasting: My vitamin drink!
Needing: I'm really needing Jack to sleep every night for longer than three hours! Last night he slept 5 and a half hours! I'm so proud of him!
Wanting: I'm desperately wanting my favorite coffee drink and a big, juicy burger with everything on it! Lately I've been craving calories and fat because I don't think I'm getting enough of either. My diet is regrettably sparse and this is bad because I'm nursing and I need those calories to make good, rich milk for Jack.
Regretting: Not being able to get my hair cut last month. But I'll try today to make an appointment with my amazing hair girl for next week. It's hard to get in with her because she only works certain days. I love my hair cuts with Amanda!
Wishing: For a bigger house. We're a large family packed into a very small house. This was fine when everyone was small, but now that we have quite a few teens and young adults, it's really, REALLY tight around here!
Thinking: I'm thinking about how hard the Teen Years are for me to navigate! I thought the Toddler Years could be hard. I don't believe in the old adage of the "Terrible Two's" at all. We never struggled with that time period, but I'm finding out that the Teen Years are very, very challenging for me, especially with so many girls!
Laughing: I'm laughing about how funny and adorable Pennie is when I try to teach her how to wiggle her eyebrows up and down! It makes me so happy to think of her trying to do that! She involves her whole face in the lesson!
Recovering: From another terrible bout with a cold/allergies, in which I've lost my voice again for the second time in two months! I've had a cold or allergies every single month since the end of December. UGH! I'm mostly over it but I still can't talk very well and I still cough terribly at the worst times, like in the middle of the night and in the early morning.
Believing: I'm *trying* to believe that the situation with our van will be solved soon. It's been sitting out in the driveway for almost 15 months now, totally dead. As we've saved up the money we've had our mechanic working on it, and the last time he was here was the first week of April. We haven't seen or heard from him since, which is very odd and not normal. He's a very reliable Christian man. We haven't had a vehicle in which we can all travel as a family for that long!
Anticipating: We're gearing up to do some major things to our house in August!
Dreaming: Aside from dreaming about food, I'm dreaming about having a newer, reliable car that is clean and in very good condition.
Praying: I'm praying for my children. I'm praying for good friends of ours who need a good job so that the mama can stay home with her toddler boy and have more babies and be a housewife. I'm praying that God would direct my husband's path in the next few months and that I'll have the courage to follow him.
Singing: I keep singing (in my head, since I have no voice) "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" from the musical "Evita". My favorite rendition is performed by Nicole Scherzinger (whom I absolutely DO NOT endorse at all usually).
Wearing: I'm wearing a gray and blue striped maxi skirt and a dark gray tank top.
Remembering: I'm remembering my daughter Samantha when she was small and I'm marveling that she's almost 16 now. I'm wondering where all of that time went.
Trying: I'm trying to be more joyful and happy and smile more. I'm not a joyful and light person, but it makes my husband happy, so I've resolved to try harder in that area. I'm also trying not to procrastinate so much.
Questioning: I'm questioning the Lord an awful lot lately as to where He wants us in the next two years. He sure is quiet about it!
Fearing: I'm fearing these grueling Teen Years! Right now I have a 19 year old son who's pretty much an adult now. I have three teen girls now, and I'm beginning to think I just need to tighten up my seatbelt and hang on!
Loving: I'm loving my new bedding! And I'm loving Jack too….
Working: Working on a list of ideas for the posts I'm going to do in the next 31 days.
Choosing: To keep my mouth shut more often.
Emailing: I've been emailing my dear and wonderful choir director about songs that I'd love to do, and that she thinks I can do, for Opera Workshop this Fall.
Suffering: Itchy skin. Not being able to sing. Cravings.
Recognizing: I'm recognizing how much maintenance the Christian walk requires.
Practicing: Patience. Joy. Long-suffering. Being teachable.
Smiling: I'm smiling because my life is so awesome. I'm smiling because I have so much to live for.
What are YOU doing right now?
Seeing: My computer screen
Hearing: I'm hearing the hum of the fans in our room, the younger girls' room and the living room. They cool our house in the evenings and help some of the children to sleep!
Smelling: I'm smelling Tangy Tangerine, my vitamin drink that I have every morning, and Valor, the Young Living Essential oil that I put on this morning. It's kind of a cedar smell and it's a blend that helps me so much with anxiety and being calm.
Tasting: My vitamin drink!
Needing: I'm really needing Jack to sleep every night for longer than three hours! Last night he slept 5 and a half hours! I'm so proud of him!
Wanting: I'm desperately wanting my favorite coffee drink and a big, juicy burger with everything on it! Lately I've been craving calories and fat because I don't think I'm getting enough of either. My diet is regrettably sparse and this is bad because I'm nursing and I need those calories to make good, rich milk for Jack.
Regretting: Not being able to get my hair cut last month. But I'll try today to make an appointment with my amazing hair girl for next week. It's hard to get in with her because she only works certain days. I love my hair cuts with Amanda!
Wishing: For a bigger house. We're a large family packed into a very small house. This was fine when everyone was small, but now that we have quite a few teens and young adults, it's really, REALLY tight around here!
Thinking: I'm thinking about how hard the Teen Years are for me to navigate! I thought the Toddler Years could be hard. I don't believe in the old adage of the "Terrible Two's" at all. We never struggled with that time period, but I'm finding out that the Teen Years are very, very challenging for me, especially with so many girls!
Laughing: I'm laughing about how funny and adorable Pennie is when I try to teach her how to wiggle her eyebrows up and down! It makes me so happy to think of her trying to do that! She involves her whole face in the lesson!
Recovering: From another terrible bout with a cold/allergies, in which I've lost my voice again for the second time in two months! I've had a cold or allergies every single month since the end of December. UGH! I'm mostly over it but I still can't talk very well and I still cough terribly at the worst times, like in the middle of the night and in the early morning.
Believing: I'm *trying* to believe that the situation with our van will be solved soon. It's been sitting out in the driveway for almost 15 months now, totally dead. As we've saved up the money we've had our mechanic working on it, and the last time he was here was the first week of April. We haven't seen or heard from him since, which is very odd and not normal. He's a very reliable Christian man. We haven't had a vehicle in which we can all travel as a family for that long!
Anticipating: We're gearing up to do some major things to our house in August!
Dreaming: Aside from dreaming about food, I'm dreaming about having a newer, reliable car that is clean and in very good condition.
Praying: I'm praying for my children. I'm praying for good friends of ours who need a good job so that the mama can stay home with her toddler boy and have more babies and be a housewife. I'm praying that God would direct my husband's path in the next few months and that I'll have the courage to follow him.
Singing: I keep singing (in my head, since I have no voice) "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" from the musical "Evita". My favorite rendition is performed by Nicole Scherzinger (whom I absolutely DO NOT endorse at all usually).
Wearing: I'm wearing a gray and blue striped maxi skirt and a dark gray tank top.
Remembering: I'm remembering my daughter Samantha when she was small and I'm marveling that she's almost 16 now. I'm wondering where all of that time went.
Trying: I'm trying to be more joyful and happy and smile more. I'm not a joyful and light person, but it makes my husband happy, so I've resolved to try harder in that area. I'm also trying not to procrastinate so much.
Questioning: I'm questioning the Lord an awful lot lately as to where He wants us in the next two years. He sure is quiet about it!
Fearing: I'm fearing these grueling Teen Years! Right now I have a 19 year old son who's pretty much an adult now. I have three teen girls now, and I'm beginning to think I just need to tighten up my seatbelt and hang on!
Loving: I'm loving my new bedding! And I'm loving Jack too….
Working: Working on a list of ideas for the posts I'm going to do in the next 31 days.
Choosing: To keep my mouth shut more often.
Emailing: I've been emailing my dear and wonderful choir director about songs that I'd love to do, and that she thinks I can do, for Opera Workshop this Fall.
Suffering: Itchy skin. Not being able to sing. Cravings.
Recognizing: I'm recognizing how much maintenance the Christian walk requires.
Practicing: Patience. Joy. Long-suffering. Being teachable.
Smiling: I'm smiling because my life is so awesome. I'm smiling because I have so much to live for.
What are YOU doing right now?
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
31 Days
Hello.
I've got so many blog posts running around in my head! I'm not sure what to blog about but I want to blog about everything that happens here and everything I'm thinking.
I ran into a challenge.
I think it's an old idea, but I'm jumping on the bandwagon of this challenge.
I'm committing to 31 Days of Blogging.
I'm going to do a post every single day for 31 Days.
I want you to know me better and I want you to see that I'm just a regular mama who happens to have 9 children. I want to post pictures so you can see that I'm not SuperWoman. I want to share my thoughts with you so you can see that I live life with every single one of my five senses: I touch life and taste it and hear it and see it and feel it, sometimes with no filters. I want to share my heart with you so you can see that I'm flawed and I'm fallible and I'm just like you, a traveler on this journey called Life and I just happen to be bringing 9 kids along.
So, my 31 Days will start tomorrow.
I'll see you then!
Monday, May 12, 2014
Jack's Birth Story, Part 2
**Part 2 of this story is really long, so I will cut it off and do Part 3 in a couple of days!**
In Part 1 of this birth story, I said all I could do was pace. I couldn't even sit down, my body was wanting to pace……
The pacing was for a good reason, drawing Jack lower, although he was pretty low at my midwife appointment, I mean, she could feel his head ready and not very far up!
So, I decided to go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet, just to rest a bit and see if anything would happen in the pushing department, because I had been in labor for about 4 hours and, from previous labors and deliveries, I "knew" that Jack was probably coming really soon, and since both of my last deliveries had been on the toilet, I knew he'd probably be born there….yes, I know it's weird….
Anyway, I sat down on the toilet, and my husband got a chair and sat with me, timing my contractions. He had made a small place on the floor with towels, just in case I had Jack on the toilet. See, we had gotten a new toilet and the seat was a lot smaller than any seat we'd had and Dave wasn't sure he could grab Jack through the really small hole, so he made a place on the floor for me. As a side note here, Dave really, really was NOT wanting me to have Jack on the toilet, because it was so hard to get our two previous babies out when I couldn't really move after they came out…..but he needn't have worried.
I sat on the toilet for about an hour, and I did start feeling a tiny bit pushy, but nothing really strong, and I was confused because my last two births were over by this time and I knew I was getting somewhere because there was a tiny bit of blood in the toilet. My contractions were still only two minutes apart and they were very, very intense at this time. As I said, Dave had made a place on the floor in case I wanted to sit on the floor and lean up against the wall to push, and there was a dark brown towel (my favorite color) down there, and it was funny because that towel became my focal point as the contractions peaked, and concentrating on that silly towel helped me maintain my deep breathing and helped me keep the breathing really even and steady, even though the contractions were NOT feeling good by this time! In fact, they were downright painful and I was thinking that Jack would be born pretty soon.
Another side note here: we had remodeled our bathroom, actually taken it down to the studs and dirt last August, and the bathroom still wasn't done, as we didn't' have a vanity in there. I was wondering how that would be since I usually like to lean over the counter during the last really hard contractions, but this time, there was a lot of room and Dave was able to bring a chair in and sit with me and even make that spot on the floor for me in case I needed it. So, I guess it was good that the bathroom was not finished then!
I should also note that all this time, while I labored through the night non-stop, my husband was right there. He stayed with me, timing my contractions, and while I paced, he got the bed ready, taping kitchen garbage bags to the mattress with blue painter's tape and putting layers of towels and blankets under the sheet. He put our blankets on over all of that so I would have a comfortable and warm place to go after Jack was born, and even in case I felt like I wanted to have Jack in the bed. He was very quiet and very respectful of my need to just be very inward-focused, even more than any other labor and birth I've had.
I was getting kind of frustrated at this point because, after being in labor with contractions only 2 minutes apart for most of the night, nothing seemed to be happening! All I could do was pace, and I was wondering how long this would last. I was wondering if my energy was going to hold out. I was getting worn out by this time. It was now 3:00 AM, and still no Jack. So, what did I do? I resumed the endless pacing! I noticed that I was really slowing down in the pacing, and I had to concentrate more on keeping my breathing even and deep. The contractions were about 1 and a half minutes apart now.
When the contractions became painful and intense, I started using essential oils. I'm a huge advocate for Young Living essential oils, and I have a lot of different oils in my home. I have a diffuser, and I took the diffuser to the kitchen, filled it up with water and put a few drops of Young Living Peace and Calming oil in it. I plugged it in on my husband's side of the bed and turned it on, the whole time marveling that I was still able to think straight and do this during these really intense, downright painful contractions! During labor with Jack, I used a couple of oils, rubbing them on my belly and on my toes, and I really think they helped me along.
Let me say at this point that I was totally shocked and surprised at myself for being able to get so far in the process without freaking out or panicking, because if you remember, I was pretty scared of labor and deliver, as I always am. As the contractions got painful and closer together, I was sure I was going to start panicking at any moment, and you know, I just never did, and I attribute that to the fact that as I paced, I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. With each contraction, I prayed that the Lord would keep me focused. I knew deep down that losing it wasn't going to accomplish anything, and it might actually set me back. So, I prayed intensely, and had prayed before labor actually started. I felt overwhelming peace during this whole labor and delivery. I was incredibly astonished at myself at this point that I was so calm!
After I filled the diffuser, I was only able to lean over it and breathe deeply for a couple of minutes before I had a super, super intense contraction that lasted for about a minute. For some reason, I decided to get into bed, because by this time I felt like I was being slowly and methodically torn apart, like stubborn Saran wrap! I got into bed and laid on my back, with no covers or anything, and I grabbed the side of the mattress and clenched it! It was now about 3:30 AM.
I'm telling you, the contractions I was experiencing at this point were the type that usually, with previous labors and deliveries, have me begging to go home and just feeling really scared because they HURT!!But I felt a bit of peace that I was already home... and I was able to focus and breathe, and I know that was the Lord, because I was sure Jack was going to come out at any moment, right there in the bed! My husband came in and checked on me, and, very quickly, I told him…..
"Fill up the tub!"
He looked at me in shock and said, "What?"
Again I said, "Just fill up the tub NOW!"
He immediately turned around and began to fill the tub!
Our only bathroom in the house is right next to our room, and the door is right next to our bedroom door. I could hear the water pouring into the tub…..and I was wracked by a huge, long, very intense contraction. I thought, how in the world am I going to be able to get into the tub, with contractions like these, I can't even get up!!
Dave came back into the room and told me the tub was filled.
Mercifully and miraculously, the terrible contraction let up and I was able to quickly get up and actually walk into the bathroom! I put one leg over the tub and kind of slid down with a loud "woosh" into the tub! The only thought I had was, wow, this water is hot!
I landed kind of on my right side, and seriously, not even one minute after I got into the tub, I began to bear down as hard as I ever have! My body took over and bore down, and within one push……
JACK WAS HERE!!!
I remember distinctly Dave saying, "Honey, keep pushing, I can see his head," and then, Jack was here. He swooshed out so fast, I was amazed! I said….
"He's here and it's over!"
Dave quickly swooped him up out of the water and wiped his face and then handed him to me…and the clock said
3:52 AM
A side note here: Dave had brought towels into the bathroom when I asked (umm, commanded is more like it) to fill the tub. So he had the towels ready to wipe Jack down and then for afterwards, after he was born and the cord was cut and I wanted to get out of the tub. Without Dave there, I would have been totally scattered and nothing needed and necessary would have gotten done!
So, he wiped off Jack's face and handed him to me. I had been wearing a tank top, in preparation for maybe having Jack in the tub or laboring in the tub, so I still had the tank top on, and I knew it would be modest too, in case the kids heard Jack and wanted to come in and see him.
I locked my arms around my new baby son and right way…..Jack peed on me! I was fading fast at this time, and I didn't even care, I was just so glad that he was here and everything was fine!
He was very clean since he was born underwater, but he was covered in the cottage cheesy stuff, you know, that keeps babies moist and keeps their skin from drying out during their long stay in the womb. He wasn't crying at all, and he just looked up at me through squinted eyes. It was so warm and relaxing in the hot water! I kept telling Dave that I needed a towel for Jack in case he got cold, silly me!!
At this point, Dave was telling me to try to get him to cry, as he was trying to suction out his mouth and nose, and so I began patting Jack on the back, over and over….
And I was just so jubilantly happy that I had done it!!
After I have a baby, I usually get the uncontrollable shakes and quickly become dehydrated and kind of rummy and loopy, but this time, being in the warm water of the tub with my new baby son in my arms, I didn't get the shakes and I didn't get dehydrated at all. I noticed that Jack was very calm and he hardly cried at all. I didn't want to let him go!! I didn't want anyone to come in and take him away from me! I wanted to stay there in that bathtub all day!
So, we waited for the cord to stop pulsing and this took at least 20 minutes, and I just patted Jack's back and talked to him, and Daddy was checking me and making sure that my bleeding was under control. It's interesting to note that the kids were still asleep at this time, as it was only about 4:15 in the morning.
The cord stopped pulsing and then, Hannah, our oldest daughter, came out of her room and realized Jack was here, so she immediately wanted to hold him. Daddy closed the shower curtain, as it was pretty gruesome in the bathtub after the placenta came out, and she went and sat with him for a few minutes.
Another side note: our camera was missing!! We couldn't take any type of pictures during labor or of Jack's first moments!! It was such a travesty and so horrible, but Hannah and Daddy managed to take pictures of him using Daddy's Mac Cam on his computer when he was several minutes old……sigh…..
**Part 3 coming soon!!**
In Part 1 of this birth story, I said all I could do was pace. I couldn't even sit down, my body was wanting to pace……
The pacing was for a good reason, drawing Jack lower, although he was pretty low at my midwife appointment, I mean, she could feel his head ready and not very far up!
So, I decided to go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet, just to rest a bit and see if anything would happen in the pushing department, because I had been in labor for about 4 hours and, from previous labors and deliveries, I "knew" that Jack was probably coming really soon, and since both of my last deliveries had been on the toilet, I knew he'd probably be born there….yes, I know it's weird….
Anyway, I sat down on the toilet, and my husband got a chair and sat with me, timing my contractions. He had made a small place on the floor with towels, just in case I had Jack on the toilet. See, we had gotten a new toilet and the seat was a lot smaller than any seat we'd had and Dave wasn't sure he could grab Jack through the really small hole, so he made a place on the floor for me. As a side note here, Dave really, really was NOT wanting me to have Jack on the toilet, because it was so hard to get our two previous babies out when I couldn't really move after they came out…..but he needn't have worried.
I sat on the toilet for about an hour, and I did start feeling a tiny bit pushy, but nothing really strong, and I was confused because my last two births were over by this time and I knew I was getting somewhere because there was a tiny bit of blood in the toilet. My contractions were still only two minutes apart and they were very, very intense at this time. As I said, Dave had made a place on the floor in case I wanted to sit on the floor and lean up against the wall to push, and there was a dark brown towel (my favorite color) down there, and it was funny because that towel became my focal point as the contractions peaked, and concentrating on that silly towel helped me maintain my deep breathing and helped me keep the breathing really even and steady, even though the contractions were NOT feeling good by this time! In fact, they were downright painful and I was thinking that Jack would be born pretty soon.
Another side note here: we had remodeled our bathroom, actually taken it down to the studs and dirt last August, and the bathroom still wasn't done, as we didn't' have a vanity in there. I was wondering how that would be since I usually like to lean over the counter during the last really hard contractions, but this time, there was a lot of room and Dave was able to bring a chair in and sit with me and even make that spot on the floor for me in case I needed it. So, I guess it was good that the bathroom was not finished then!
I should also note that all this time, while I labored through the night non-stop, my husband was right there. He stayed with me, timing my contractions, and while I paced, he got the bed ready, taping kitchen garbage bags to the mattress with blue painter's tape and putting layers of towels and blankets under the sheet. He put our blankets on over all of that so I would have a comfortable and warm place to go after Jack was born, and even in case I felt like I wanted to have Jack in the bed. He was very quiet and very respectful of my need to just be very inward-focused, even more than any other labor and birth I've had.
I was getting kind of frustrated at this point because, after being in labor with contractions only 2 minutes apart for most of the night, nothing seemed to be happening! All I could do was pace, and I was wondering how long this would last. I was wondering if my energy was going to hold out. I was getting worn out by this time. It was now 3:00 AM, and still no Jack. So, what did I do? I resumed the endless pacing! I noticed that I was really slowing down in the pacing, and I had to concentrate more on keeping my breathing even and deep. The contractions were about 1 and a half minutes apart now.
When the contractions became painful and intense, I started using essential oils. I'm a huge advocate for Young Living essential oils, and I have a lot of different oils in my home. I have a diffuser, and I took the diffuser to the kitchen, filled it up with water and put a few drops of Young Living Peace and Calming oil in it. I plugged it in on my husband's side of the bed and turned it on, the whole time marveling that I was still able to think straight and do this during these really intense, downright painful contractions! During labor with Jack, I used a couple of oils, rubbing them on my belly and on my toes, and I really think they helped me along.
Let me say at this point that I was totally shocked and surprised at myself for being able to get so far in the process without freaking out or panicking, because if you remember, I was pretty scared of labor and deliver, as I always am. As the contractions got painful and closer together, I was sure I was going to start panicking at any moment, and you know, I just never did, and I attribute that to the fact that as I paced, I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. With each contraction, I prayed that the Lord would keep me focused. I knew deep down that losing it wasn't going to accomplish anything, and it might actually set me back. So, I prayed intensely, and had prayed before labor actually started. I felt overwhelming peace during this whole labor and delivery. I was incredibly astonished at myself at this point that I was so calm!
After I filled the diffuser, I was only able to lean over it and breathe deeply for a couple of minutes before I had a super, super intense contraction that lasted for about a minute. For some reason, I decided to get into bed, because by this time I felt like I was being slowly and methodically torn apart, like stubborn Saran wrap! I got into bed and laid on my back, with no covers or anything, and I grabbed the side of the mattress and clenched it! It was now about 3:30 AM.
I'm telling you, the contractions I was experiencing at this point were the type that usually, with previous labors and deliveries, have me begging to go home and just feeling really scared because they HURT!!But I felt a bit of peace that I was already home... and I was able to focus and breathe, and I know that was the Lord, because I was sure Jack was going to come out at any moment, right there in the bed! My husband came in and checked on me, and, very quickly, I told him…..
"Fill up the tub!"
He looked at me in shock and said, "What?"
Again I said, "Just fill up the tub NOW!"
He immediately turned around and began to fill the tub!
Our only bathroom in the house is right next to our room, and the door is right next to our bedroom door. I could hear the water pouring into the tub…..and I was wracked by a huge, long, very intense contraction. I thought, how in the world am I going to be able to get into the tub, with contractions like these, I can't even get up!!
Dave came back into the room and told me the tub was filled.
Mercifully and miraculously, the terrible contraction let up and I was able to quickly get up and actually walk into the bathroom! I put one leg over the tub and kind of slid down with a loud "woosh" into the tub! The only thought I had was, wow, this water is hot!
I landed kind of on my right side, and seriously, not even one minute after I got into the tub, I began to bear down as hard as I ever have! My body took over and bore down, and within one push……
JACK WAS HERE!!!
I remember distinctly Dave saying, "Honey, keep pushing, I can see his head," and then, Jack was here. He swooshed out so fast, I was amazed! I said….
"He's here and it's over!"
Dave quickly swooped him up out of the water and wiped his face and then handed him to me…and the clock said
3:52 AM
A side note here: Dave had brought towels into the bathroom when I asked (umm, commanded is more like it) to fill the tub. So he had the towels ready to wipe Jack down and then for afterwards, after he was born and the cord was cut and I wanted to get out of the tub. Without Dave there, I would have been totally scattered and nothing needed and necessary would have gotten done!
So, he wiped off Jack's face and handed him to me. I had been wearing a tank top, in preparation for maybe having Jack in the tub or laboring in the tub, so I still had the tank top on, and I knew it would be modest too, in case the kids heard Jack and wanted to come in and see him.
I locked my arms around my new baby son and right way…..Jack peed on me! I was fading fast at this time, and I didn't even care, I was just so glad that he was here and everything was fine!
He was very clean since he was born underwater, but he was covered in the cottage cheesy stuff, you know, that keeps babies moist and keeps their skin from drying out during their long stay in the womb. He wasn't crying at all, and he just looked up at me through squinted eyes. It was so warm and relaxing in the hot water! I kept telling Dave that I needed a towel for Jack in case he got cold, silly me!!
At this point, Dave was telling me to try to get him to cry, as he was trying to suction out his mouth and nose, and so I began patting Jack on the back, over and over….
And I was just so jubilantly happy that I had done it!!
After I have a baby, I usually get the uncontrollable shakes and quickly become dehydrated and kind of rummy and loopy, but this time, being in the warm water of the tub with my new baby son in my arms, I didn't get the shakes and I didn't get dehydrated at all. I noticed that Jack was very calm and he hardly cried at all. I didn't want to let him go!! I didn't want anyone to come in and take him away from me! I wanted to stay there in that bathtub all day!
So, we waited for the cord to stop pulsing and this took at least 20 minutes, and I just patted Jack's back and talked to him, and Daddy was checking me and making sure that my bleeding was under control. It's interesting to note that the kids were still asleep at this time, as it was only about 4:15 in the morning.
The cord stopped pulsing and then, Hannah, our oldest daughter, came out of her room and realized Jack was here, so she immediately wanted to hold him. Daddy closed the shower curtain, as it was pretty gruesome in the bathtub after the placenta came out, and she went and sat with him for a few minutes.
Another side note: our camera was missing!! We couldn't take any type of pictures during labor or of Jack's first moments!! It was such a travesty and so horrible, but Hannah and Daddy managed to take pictures of him using Daddy's Mac Cam on his computer when he was several minutes old……sigh…..
**Part 3 coming soon!!**
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Jack's Birth Story Part 1
I'm FINALLY posting Jack's birth story, and it's only been 4 months since his birth!
I found Page One of the pages I wrote down….but I can't find any of the other pages! I guess I'll have to wing it strictly from memory!
It's kind of a long story, so I'll try to make it shorter as I go, but if you love Birth Stories, this one is pretty good, if I do say so myself! HA!
As I had posted before in this post, we had found out that Jack was indeed head down and engaged on January 2nd! We were so so SO incredibly relieved, and I spent that 45 minute ride home from my midwife's office thanking the Lord for answering our prayers.
We got home from the midwife's at 7:30 PM. She had told us that we could probably expect to have him in three days or so, and I was fine with that. I really felt like I was ready and in that mindset which we who are about to have a baby get into!
The kids ate dinner and then we started Family Time, and we started singing. We like to sing together as a family, so we started signing that night at about 9:30 or so, because my husband is a Night Owl and loves to do things late! I didn't really feel like singing, and I noticed that I felt like I was really turning inward, listening to my body, because I had started having cramps by this point, and they were pretty good ones too! I didn't think I was in labor until I realized about 30 minutes later that these cramps were only three minutes apart and they felt like that familiar tighten-crescendo-ease off rhythm that real labor contractions have! I knew by then that we were going to meet Jack soon!! Dave asked me why I wasn't singing, and I shot him a look and said, between clenched teeth…
"Because I'm in LABOR, that's why!!!"
Like I said, I was really turned inward, concentrating on what my body was telling me, and so I got up from the chair and began to walk around and do some light cleaning. By now, I was really feeling the contractions! It was about 10:45 now, and Dave put the kids to bed. I was walking around, and at 11:00 I noticed I was really tired, so I decided to try to take a nap, because even though the contractions were only three minutes apart, they were very manageable for me.
I went into our room and I opened the window above our bed, and I could hear that there was a soft rain pattering on the concrete outside, and it was very peaceful and relaxing. Our bed didn't have any sheets or blankets on it because they were waiting on being washed, so I just got into the bed and laid on my side. This was comfortable at this point, although laying on my side hadn't been at all comfortable previously in my pregnancy, and I put a pillow between my knees and drifted off to sleep.
I was awakened by a serious, pretty long contraction at 12:30 AM, and I immediately began to shiver uncontrollably. Now, when I start to shiver, this usually means that Baby is coming very quickly! However, at this point I didn't feel like pushing or anything, but I was freezing cold and I wondered where Dave was! I also noticed that the contractions were now two minutes apart! I started softly calling for Dave, as a soft voice was all I could manage at this point. He was in the older girls' room talking with them, and he finally heard me calling. He knew I was in labor earlier, but now he knew it was Serious Time! He later said that, as soon as he saw my face, he knew it was Go Time!
I usually get very hot and sweaty when I reach transition during labor, but with Jack I got really cold, so I put on a sweatshirt of Dave's, and I took some liquid calcium/magnesium to help ease the contractions, and as always, the calcium made them very manageable! I started methodically pacing at this point. I looked at the clock and it was about 1:15 AM by then.
You know, while I was in labor with Jack, I noticed that I couldn't stop pacing, just a methodical pace, the same route through the kitchen, down the hall, back up the hall and through the kitchen, over and over and over again. And, I was breathing really, really methodically as well, and I found that the pacing was helping me to concentrate on my breathing. By now, the contractions were getting pretty intense, and I tried leaning over the counter in the kitchen or leaning over the bed, but my body just wanted to pace! So, pace I did, around and around and around………
Stay tuned for Part Two, and I promise I'll have it up within the next couple of days!!
I found Page One of the pages I wrote down….but I can't find any of the other pages! I guess I'll have to wing it strictly from memory!
It's kind of a long story, so I'll try to make it shorter as I go, but if you love Birth Stories, this one is pretty good, if I do say so myself! HA!
As I had posted before in this post, we had found out that Jack was indeed head down and engaged on January 2nd! We were so so SO incredibly relieved, and I spent that 45 minute ride home from my midwife's office thanking the Lord for answering our prayers.
We got home from the midwife's at 7:30 PM. She had told us that we could probably expect to have him in three days or so, and I was fine with that. I really felt like I was ready and in that mindset which we who are about to have a baby get into!
The kids ate dinner and then we started Family Time, and we started singing. We like to sing together as a family, so we started signing that night at about 9:30 or so, because my husband is a Night Owl and loves to do things late! I didn't really feel like singing, and I noticed that I felt like I was really turning inward, listening to my body, because I had started having cramps by this point, and they were pretty good ones too! I didn't think I was in labor until I realized about 30 minutes later that these cramps were only three minutes apart and they felt like that familiar tighten-crescendo-ease off rhythm that real labor contractions have! I knew by then that we were going to meet Jack soon!! Dave asked me why I wasn't singing, and I shot him a look and said, between clenched teeth…
"Because I'm in LABOR, that's why!!!"
Like I said, I was really turned inward, concentrating on what my body was telling me, and so I got up from the chair and began to walk around and do some light cleaning. By now, I was really feeling the contractions! It was about 10:45 now, and Dave put the kids to bed. I was walking around, and at 11:00 I noticed I was really tired, so I decided to try to take a nap, because even though the contractions were only three minutes apart, they were very manageable for me.
I went into our room and I opened the window above our bed, and I could hear that there was a soft rain pattering on the concrete outside, and it was very peaceful and relaxing. Our bed didn't have any sheets or blankets on it because they were waiting on being washed, so I just got into the bed and laid on my side. This was comfortable at this point, although laying on my side hadn't been at all comfortable previously in my pregnancy, and I put a pillow between my knees and drifted off to sleep.
I was awakened by a serious, pretty long contraction at 12:30 AM, and I immediately began to shiver uncontrollably. Now, when I start to shiver, this usually means that Baby is coming very quickly! However, at this point I didn't feel like pushing or anything, but I was freezing cold and I wondered where Dave was! I also noticed that the contractions were now two minutes apart! I started softly calling for Dave, as a soft voice was all I could manage at this point. He was in the older girls' room talking with them, and he finally heard me calling. He knew I was in labor earlier, but now he knew it was Serious Time! He later said that, as soon as he saw my face, he knew it was Go Time!
I usually get very hot and sweaty when I reach transition during labor, but with Jack I got really cold, so I put on a sweatshirt of Dave's, and I took some liquid calcium/magnesium to help ease the contractions, and as always, the calcium made them very manageable! I started methodically pacing at this point. I looked at the clock and it was about 1:15 AM by then.
You know, while I was in labor with Jack, I noticed that I couldn't stop pacing, just a methodical pace, the same route through the kitchen, down the hall, back up the hall and through the kitchen, over and over and over again. And, I was breathing really, really methodically as well, and I found that the pacing was helping me to concentrate on my breathing. By now, the contractions were getting pretty intense, and I tried leaning over the counter in the kitchen or leaning over the bed, but my body just wanted to pace! So, pace I did, around and around and around………
Stay tuned for Part Two, and I promise I'll have it up within the next couple of days!!
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